NOON: Hello? Are you there? It’s me.
THREE: Hello? Why won’t you answer? It’s me.
SIX: Hello? Are you alright? It’s me.
NINE: Hello? Please answer. It’s me.
MIDNIGHT: Hello? Where are you? It’s me.
NOON: Hello? Can we talk?
THREE: Hello? Can I see you?
SIX: Hello? Do you need anything?
NINE: Hello? What’s wrong?
Who cares? I do.
What does it matter? You matter.
Where is my money? I will buy you what you need.
When will you stop? I will not stop.
Why can’t you leave me alone? I love you.
How can you love me? It’s called agape love, my child.
The silence is as distracting as a deafening noise. That is how I describe the days when my child goes silent. I wonder. I worry. I pray.
Living life on their terms is tough. There is a peace in the knowing and there is distress in the silence. When you hear from them at least you know that you know that you know. Know what I mean? But with silence comes questions, confusion, assumptions, wonder, worry, distress, anxiety… IF YOU ALLOW IT. So of course logic says, don’t allow your mind to go to those bad places. Live YOUR life. Don’t fixate on theirs. Are they worrying about you? NO!
The only thing I am asked to do now is to let her go. Give her to God. Stop trying to run a life that is not meant for me to run. My life is MY life. Her life is not my life.
So if you are reading this and you understand what I am saying, I will pray you have the strength to live your life and love the one you are caring for without micromanaging and have faith that God is in control.