Disappointment . . .




  1. sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.
  2. a person, event, or thing that causes disappointment.

A full out rollercoaster of emotion around my circumstances that left me in bed, for days, not wanting to do anything. Disappointment is more than sadness. It’s an offshoot, a complex emotion that stems from sadness. It is much more powerful. It’s what we feel when our expectations for a desired outcome are taken away. The feelings of anger and being let down, of frustration and sadness collide when we thought what we deserved didn’t happen.

I was sitting in a comfy chair having my pedicure when the call came. It was my pulmonologist. Yes, I had been expecting his call with results from a broncoscopy that had performed the week before, but I had not been prepared for his words. As I choked back tears (I didn’t want the lovely Korean woman worrying too much) I listened, wiped, made a few noises, listened some more and then asked the question I didn’t want to ask…..

DOES THIS MEAN I SHOULD NOT GO ON MY TIRP TOMORROW? please say not problem please!

Well, Mrs. Austen, it would be in your best interest to cancel your trip and I will see to getting you an appointment with an infectious disease doctor as soon as possible. This is beyond asthma and pulmonology at this point. … DISAPPOINTMENT BEGINS

I had been planning to study abroad to learn a new language and immerse myself in the culture for a long time! This is a big bucket list item and a lifelong dream and it was crushed like an ant under my foot in a minute flat. What did I do you ask? Well, first, breathe. Then, upon leaving the nail salon I hunched over the steering wheel and bawled my eyes out. I drove home and began to unravel all the plans I made one by painful one.

I am on medication to help my lungs right now and will see the doctor later this week. The medication does not make me feel very good – in fact, it is messing with my vision terribly (not great being a photographer and loving to read and study) so I spend too much time with my eyes closed. I would not have been at 100% for this trip and would have had a good time but maybe not the BEST time so I will reschedule when I can. But, last week! Last week was a bear. The feelings of disappointment, sadness, frustration, lack of control, and hopelessness was overwhelming to me. My friends were amazing. Calling, texting, sending flowers and things to cheer me up. (I have the BEST friends in the world) Even still, it was hard to get up this time.

Today, I still feel a small amount of disappointment but nothing like the ride of last week. Family and friends telling me to list my blessings, look for the good, all the things I know and do and teach but boy was it hard. I didn’t WANT to. Not just then – not yet anyway. I needed to allow myself to move through the feelings as awful as they were.

5 Stages of Grief, Change, Disappointment

  • Denial.
  • Anger.
  • Bargaining.
  • Depression.
  • Acceptance.

I felt them. All of them. And now I am at acceptance. So let me share the good news now.

Disappointment means passion for something. Every cause has an effect. Think of disappointment as an effect, where the cause is your love for the thing in question.

Disappointment means an opportunity for growth. Every time we feel disappointed, it means there is an error in our framework of reality. Disappointment comes from the mismatch between reality and your expectation. Yet, the reality has been this way all along — reality did not change in that one second leading to your discovery of the truth. The world did not conspire to bring you down. The reason you feel disappointed is because you discovered the truth — and this truth is not what you thought it would be.

Disappointment means you are stronger for going through it. When you go through a harsh emotion like that, you become tougher. You learn to process and work through your emotions. You become more resilient to life’s hardships.

I hope the next time you find yourself disappointed (I know I will) that you allow the emotions to move through you, to feel them and release them so you can move to all the benefits that come in the end! They are there. PASSION, TRUTH, GROWTH, STRENGTH

Living Like Water

Over the last decade or so, my husband and I often remark at how much he recalls his younger life and just how little I can recall mine! There are times he looks at me in disbelief – thinking I am not telling the truth. But, the real truth of the matter is that I DON’T recall much of my childhood or even later into my teens, 20’s and 30’s.

Have I seen a doctor? No. What’s the point. I have photos to look at so I know I was there!

Does it make me sad? I have asked myself that question many times. The answer I get sounds something like: Well, maybe you are not supposed to remember in the way you think you should. You feel a lot of things and maybe it is just too much to hold on to. OK this sounds good to me.

The day before yesterday I penned some new goals for myself. Another pivot. I felt pretty good about them. That yin/yang of fear and excitement which is a intuitive sign that perhaps its ok to move ahead. Writing some notes in the middle of the night to keep them fresh I slept well.

The following morning I sat at the computer to weed through my emails that were piling up. (side note: I should be in ITALY right NOW with my MOTHER in an ITALIAN IMMERSION school in PUGLIA. I am not. She is not. But more on that later) I quickly started dumping, Then just before I hit delete on the most recent DailyOM, I stopped. The title read “Living Like Water”. My gut said stop.

It is a quick article but one that resonated with me deeply. I would mention the author but none was given. Here is the gist:

“Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility.”

The journey of water flowing on earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. The author suggests that from the beginning as water falls to the earth from the heavens it continues on a journey that does not look back but keeps moving forward. The rain/stream being the beginning of our life. The river flowing within it’s banks are those things which define us. We are molded and shaped by our family, location, genetics, born with differing sets of gifts and challenges. These are the parameters through which we navigate much of our life, flowing, like the river, along it’s banks. Waterfalls are possible. These are the falls, the breaks but what happens to water? Water gains energy and moves on. And, if there are holes to be filled, it bravely fills the empty space. Finally that river will empty into the sea. There is no hesitation to join a larger body of water, no loss of identity or control. It just gracefully opens to the vastness of what’s next. As we move to the end of our lives or perhaps every time we can conquer the ego enough to become part of something bigger, we humble.

Water can inspire us not to become rigid.

Water can allow us to let go of what is familiar and rigid.

Water is brave and does not cling to the past, flowing onward and never looking back.

Water fills the empty spaces – the dark moments of our lives.

Water contributes to the good of all.

This may not resonate with you the way it did with me since I had to share it here, but it did give me some peace and another assurance that Living Like Water isn’t so bad.


OMG! I lost my job….

Back in October of 2021 I accepted a job to help me get out of the house during the lull in the pandemic and to help free my mind from some of the family and personal drama I was dealing with. I thought that working in a high paced, busy and socially connected environment would be a good balance to my week.

Never having worked for anyone other than myself (except for the time I taught school) I knew there would be a learning curve but that ultimately the skills needed to do my job successfully would be easily transferable. Well, boy did I LEARN A LOT…..

First let me tell you getting fired SUCKS. Footnote: I didn’t actually get fired. They said if I didn’t leave on my own I would get fired…

Want to know more?

  • losing your job suddenly feels like failure personified.
  • the emotional rollercoaster takes you on the ride of emotion, embarrassment, shame, worthlessness, self-pity and depression
  • it is devastating and stressful because your work becomes part of your identity

YIKES! I was not prepared for this. It is like being asked would you like to eat the scorpion or drink the poison? NO and NO….

So because you guys know me, you know I am an empath and I saw this coming a mile away. I just wanted to go on my terms in my timing. I had already shared with my life coach that I was choosing to make March my January and to offer myself the grace of a reset. I had already committed to a DRY MARCH (my personal March Madness) and to get back to some important routines that I had let slip over the winter. Well, funny thing about that good old universe. IT LISTENS and if you are open IT ALSO ACTS!

God didn’t shut that door – baby he SLAMMED it shut. The window didn’t just close either. It is locked and boarded shut. And after giving less than 48 hours to my ride on the rollercoaster of I lost my job, I jumped off!

My situation is unique as is yours. Below are some things that might help you reframe your circumstance. For me, I was grateful for the experience. I don’t need to revisit my time there or even visit the establishment every again for that matter. If I see someone around town I will be polite because that is who I am. What is that saying… When they go low, you go high.

Here is that list I promised:

1. Grieve

Give yourself time to grieve the loss in its entirety—the daily routine that was familiar and comfortable, the interactions with former colleagues, and the sense of purpose or worth that your work gave you—even if it wasn’t your dream job. It’s a lot to take in.

Permit yourself to process the complicated emotions. Maybe even allow yourself some time to sulk and feel sorry for yourself. Go ahead and let it out. You are hereby granted permission to get into sweats and be the antithesis of productive.

But only for a limited time. After a couple of days, you’ve got to face the outside world again.

2. Don’t Compare and Despair.

Take a social media breather for a while. Stop thinking about what everyone else is doing, and just focus on you.

3. Reframe the Situation

Thought it may seem impossible, one way to bounce back is to reframe your experience. Turn your job loss into an opportunity.

4. Work Out

At a time like this, you want to do everything you can to move the odds squarely in your favor. Grab those kettle bells, go out for a run, or do daily push-ups, and notice how the physical exertion impacts your well-being. And please practice some YOGA and MEDITATION. CALL me! I can help.

5. Write a Thank You Note

Seriously, don’t laugh. I am a huge writer of notes. They are so important and if you don’t write them, you might consider starting. And at the end of the day, a simple note of gratitude will get you a lot further than burning bridges.

A few more if you feel these apply to your job needs. Mine was a part-time gig so these are not really things I personally invested in. (disclaimer LOL but seriously some good things to do!)

1. Understand What Went Wrong

Being fired for performance (even if you weren’t made privy to the precise problems in your exit conversation) means you probably have some things to work on. The question is, how aware are you of your shortcomings? Do your best to identify them and avoid carrying them over to what lies ahead.

Start by re-reading all your employer reviews. Make note of the things you were praised for doing—you’ll want to take those with you to your next role. Consider too the development suggestions. What are they telling you? How could you have improved your performance?

2. Have Difficult Conversations

Reach out to trustworthy former colleagues and request honest feedback. Ask them about both your strengths and your weaknesses. Identify emerging themes or patterns after you’ve spoken with a few people. Recognize and acknowledge the issues that surface from this valuable and candid feedback.

When they share their thoughts, listen. Don’t argue, debate, or contradict. Don’t defend yourself or blame someone else. Simply pay attention. Although this is a challenging exercise, it will serve you, and your career, well.

3. Make a Corrective Action Plan

Once you get feedback from your peers, figure out what you can do to improve performance issues you want to work on. Is there a class you can take to build a skill? Books you can read to help you deal more effectively with others? Podcasts or videos that will help untangle the issues that stymied you? Should you get some coaching in a certain area, such as time management?

Using difficult feedback to get back into a learning mode will boosts your confidence and gets your focus from your loss to planning your next win.

Happy New Year 2022

Welcome to a new year. It’s like a present that we can slowly unwrap. If you are like me maybe you are still playing with some of the things 2021 brought or you could be taking time to throw out what has not served you and then organizing the rest, tucking them in places that you can easily access them this year.

I learned much in 2021. I learned a lot about letting go, setting boundaries and how that impacts me because I want everyone to like me. Trust me, this is a journey that I am still taking into 2022. Sometimes, people, places and things need to be carefully examined and choices need to be made.

My husband and I downsized to about half the living space we were in while our new home is being built. This required a lot of letting go. We both had to be ruthless with our possessions.

As we made our way through each room together, we shared stories and memories. We made some easy choices and then some pretty hard ones too as we donated, gifted, and sold. Letting go together made it easier.

In yoga philosophy, within the yoga sutras,

Kleshas are negative mental states or mental patterns that cause unnecessary afflictions in our lives. There are five KleshasAvidya (ignorance), Asmita (ego), Raga (attachment), Dvesha (aversion), and Abhinivesha (fear of death). On your quest for spiritual awakening, the Kleshas are obstacles that must be overcome.

  1. Avidya (ignorance): The inability to see things for what they are; this causes you to mistake transient, ego-related matters for permanent, soul-related ones.
  2. Asmita (ego): The tendency to over identify with your ego; this keeps you from connecting with your soul.
  3. Raga (attachment): The flame of desire that causes addiction to pleasure; this discourages you from leaving your comfort zone for more evolved territory.
  4. Dvesha (aversion)
    The aversion to pain; this can create a quicksand-like cycle of misery and self-hatred that sucks you under and suffocates your will to evolve.
  5. Abhinivesha (fear of death)
    The fear of death or a clinging to life; this dilutes your focus and interferes with your ability to experience the spiritual freedom that is the goal of yoga.

Raga is that inclination (attachment) which dwells on pleasure.” — The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

This concept is particularly relevant to the patterns of our modern world today. We have become dependent on a great number of things — whether they be people, material items, or feelings. These addictions become our comfort zone, inhibiting us from exploration and growth. We are so attached to items, people, beliefs, or ideas, that happiness and inner peace depends on what we have and what we want. We suffer because we are attaching our internal happiness to external conditions.

This is Raga. It is important to note that there is a big difference between “attachment” and “love and appreciation.” Attachment is to hold on to what we have, so tight, that we develop fear of losing it. To practice yoga, on the other hand, is to be present and in a state of awareness in which we are able to appreciate what has been given to us and enjoy it while it’s available.

So as you can see, attachment creates pain in two different ways — fear of losing what we have, or fear of not getting what we want. When we are so wrapped up in this desire, we cannot ever be truly present.

“You can only lose what you cling to.” — Buddha

The advice of Patanjali (the creator of the yoga sutras) is for us to develop the art of “letting go.” Letting go is not neglecting or rejecting the things we feel appreciation for, but truly enjoying what we have while we have them. As written by Emma Newlyn, long-time yoga teacher, “It’s not about avoiding any sort of pleasure, but realising the impermanent nature of pleasure and pain, and being observant to our thoughts and behaviours.” By acknowledging the vulnerability and uncertainty of life we can find internal freedom.

Just like the other Kleshas, the concept of Raga is only valuable if we bring it down to our daily lives. How do we do that? Well, maybe by paying attention to the internal dialogue happening inside — noticing if we have thoughts that are basing our happiness on what we have or want. Maybe we are expecting certain results from our actions and we get angry if things don’t work as we expect. Or maybe we feel disturbed when people don’t treat us or behave in a certain way.


Happiness and fulfillment are not attained from the outside — with the next raise at work, the purchase of that next outfit/car/plane ticket. We will never be truly happy if we are constantly searching for the “golden ticket.” Fulfillment comes from within, from the thoughts and connection within yourself.

Practicing yoga and mindfulness allows us to train our brains and bodies to remain in the present moment. We can start to notice the patterns within our thoughts that are based around raga (attachment and desire). If we do not accomplish a certain pose or we become distracted during meditationRaga would lead us to feel discouraged, frustrated, or otherwise unhappy. Instead, we can acknowledge the reality of a certain situation, accept it, and move beyond it.

By letting go of these fluctuations of the mind, we enjoy the fullness of life in the present moment without attaching our emotions to the success or failure of every situation. This is the art of “letting go.”

Look at your hands and clench your fists tight. Now think about all the “things” you are holding on to with that grip. Think about how hard it is to hold them so tightly and with such force. Now slowly open your hands and imagine how much MORE you can receive when you let go!

So here’s to letting go of that which is not serving us (our higher good, our higher power) and finding JOY in the present and all the infinite possibilities it will bring

With Joy



Photo by rizknas on Pexels.com

When I was a kid, Christmas was my favorite holiday, hands down! Special decorations, shiny things, presents and all the traditions that only come in December.   As I have gotten older, the magic of Christmas morning has changed to a profound awareness of thanksgiving and gratitude during the Thanksgiving season.

Maybe because with each passing year, the thread of my life gets shorter and so do the opportunities to say thank you, to remind someone how precious they are and to acknowledge their imprint on my journey.

Many of you know, my mantra is living my life in gratitude and I hold on to a number of profound statements that I hope keep me authentic.  There are scripture verses and those four agreements that Ruiz shares, but one that I feel can be an umbrella to them all is Ram Dass; “we are all walking each other home.”

I am aware of my flaws and imperfections and I am humbled when I think about all the people who are in my life to teach me. Thank you for being alongside me, behind me, and in front of me.  Thank you for being there for decades, years, seasons, weeks or just a day.

The State of Grace

We all know the acronym GRACE – God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense. But what does that mean? How do you translate that into your life? What are God’s riches that we receive because of Jesus’ death on the cross at Easter? I am asking myself just as I am asking you to meditate and journal perhaps on your ideas and beliefs here and if you don’t know, maybe do a bit of reading to see if you can find some answers.

As a practicing Christian, I believe in the grace given because of the cross. I realize that some here my not know the love or sacrifice of Jesus life and death on the cross but that doesn’t mean you can’t live in the state of grace.

In one of my readings in Daily Om, this is how they described Grace. “Grace exists inside of all of us and around us. It is our inner beauty that radiates outward, touching everyone we meet.  It is that unseen hand that comes from the divine, raising us up when we most need it. To be able to live in a state of grace is not based on worthiness, nor is it earned through good deeds, ritual, or sacrifice. Rather it is an unearned favor, freely bestowed and available to all, that is inherent to our birthright. All we must do is open our eyes to its presence and we will find and experience grace everywhere. 

Grace is in the rain bringing relief to drought-ridden farms, and the unexpected lead for the perfect job opportunity that comes from a stranger. Grace is what happens to someone when they miraculously escape injury; it is even the simple events that happen to us that we call “good luck,” like when we don’t get a parking ticket after are meter has expired. Grace resides in the love between two people, and in the acts of forgiveness we extend. It is grace that moves us to go out of our way to help a stranger.” Grace is dropping your to do list to be there for someone who is hurting and needs comfort or care. Grace is seeing a need and filling it; mowing the elderly neighbor’s lawn, making a meal for a sick friend, writing a note to let someone know they are being thought of. Grace is the state we are in when we are doing nothing but just being who we are. 

To live a more gracious life means we accept the desire to live in a state of grace. “Knowing we are graced gives us hope, makes us more generous, and allows us to trust that we are taken care of even when we are going through difficult times. Grace is our benevolence of heart, and our generosity of spirit. Grace is unconditional love and the beauty that is our humanity. When we know that we are blessed with grace, we can’t help but want to live our lives in harmony.”

May the grace and peace of God be with you today and every day. May you be filled with the power of the Divine to live graciously and to see places where you can extend grace and notice where grace has and is being given.


Who is Shaping You?

Do you let the opinions of other shape you?

Most of us have probably said yes to this question. Shedding light on this question however, I hope will begin to create a work in you to be reminded NOT to let the opinions of other shape you!

We can stop letting others control how we feel or think right now.

Chuang Tzu in the 4th century B.C.E. spoke these words, “The whole world could praise Sung Jung-Tzu and it would not make him exert himself. The whole world could condemn him and it would not make him mope. He drew a clear line between the internal and the external.”

It is difficult to not be shaped by what others think. It is hard to stay true to yourself, while staying open to how others feel without letting them affect you by what they think. Others affect us every day. The spiritual work is to let truth and love shape us from the inside out. Maybe the words of Chuang Tzu can be a reminder not to let the opinions of others change us or shape us.

We all have wants:

The want to be liked.

The want to avoid conflict.

The want to be understood.

We can recognize these wants and at the same time, give the voice from within us freedom to come into the light. By doing so, we may not be liked, we may create conflict with the desire for loving resolution and we may find that in trying to be understood, we may agree to disagree.

So, who is shaping you? If the answer is not Source, God, Your Wise Self then it is time to pause and breath. It is time to take back the wheel and live your true intentions and values.

Sleep – The Princess and the Pea

As a child, I loved the story of the princess and the pea. If you are not familiar, there is a princess who gets caught in the rain and knocks on the door of a castle. The queen puts a pea under her bed as a test to see if the young woman will feel it, because only a real princess would be so delicate that she would notice a small pea. As a result, the queen allows the young woman to marry her son, a prince. You see, the princess when asked in the morning, “how did you sleep?”, she replied that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed that she is certain has bruised her. Now, I am not really sure what Anderson had in mind for the MORAL of this tale, but, obviously the princess was super sensitive. So am I – although I can assure you, I am NOT a princess.

Possibly the princess in Hans Christian Andersen’s ‘The Princess and the Pea‘ suffered from FMS since chronic sleep disturbances are typical in FMS. These sleep disturbances have been attributed to a dysfunction in the systems regulating sleep and wakefulness resulting in loss of deep sleep. Again, who knows!

What I DO KNOW is that SLEEP IS IMPORTANT. Let me say that again…. SLEEP IS IMPORTANT

As a society we are sleep deprived. We go to bed late, we look at screens before closing our eyes and even in the middle of the night, we don’t plan for an adequate number of hours in bed and our REM sleep is disrupted. I am not sure if we comprehend the consequences of these actions.

So one in three adults don’t get the recommended seven or more hours of healthy sleep, which can lead to a number of health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and frequent mental distress. See why sleep is important!!! Who wants these things (see above)

Now we have to think about what time to go to bed OR what time to wake up! Did you know that our circadian rhythm, the internal clock that runs our sleep and wake cycle, resets EVERY morning. If we think about our morning rather than our bedtime, maybe we could get into a better routine and feel more energized when we get up.

Just this morning I was counceling a client on better morning habits because she can’t get out of bed. Here are a few tips I offered. Maybe they will help you too.

  1. Have a realistic and consistent bedtime.
  2. Set SEVERAL alarms. Keep at least one across the room so you HAVE to get out of bed.
  3. Short afternoon power naps help. I like a 20-25 minute nap or meditation to “reset” between 1 and 3 pm
  4. Add supplements to your diet. Melatonin and Valerian Root at night might help.

Sleep Well and Prosper!

Hado – The Energy of Life

Hado is a Japanese word that means “wave”, or “move,” but the official definition of Hado is: “the intrinsic vibrational pattern at the atomic level in all matter. The smallest unit of energy. Its basis is the energy of human consciousness.” according to and used by Dr. Emoto for his purposes.

The study of Hado was first explored by Dr. Masaru Emoto. Dr. Emoto was born in Yokohama prefecture in July of 1943. He attended Yokohama Municipal University, where he focused his study on International Relations. Then, in 1992, Dr. Emoto earned a Doctor of Alternative Medicine certificate from The Open International University, and was first introduced to micro cluster water. This served as the catalyst to his obsession with the “mysteries” of water, and invention of the Hado school of thought, pertaining to consciousness.

As Dr. Emoto explains on the official Hado website, the above definition essentially means that everything emits an attitude, or aura, and this affects the things around it. What’s more, external stimuli can affect the vibration of certain entities, and thereby change the mood of those entities. Examples of such stimuli are music or spoken or written words.

The study of hado tells us that the energetic vibrations from our thoughts affect on our physical realities.  Each of us has the ability to manifest a specific intention through the hado that we send out.  However, we are often unaware that our thoughts are creating vibrations in the world outside our minds.  Once we know that this is the case, we can become more aware of our negative thinking and train ourselves to stay positive and think with intention.

Giving thanks for a meal before we eat can change the energy of our food.  Expressing gratitude by thoughts or words makes a huge difference to both the giver and recipient because you are sending them hado. A kind smile really makes a difference when you work consciously with hado.  Once we become aware of the power of hado, we can create positive changes in every area of our lives: our physical space, mental and emotional health, relationships, and businesses.  One of the most important principles of hado is to monitor your thoughts and intentions every day. Enjoy the improvements that you will create in your life and the world around you by consciously working with hado. 

I love no only the idea of the water having a spirit and that we have the power to change the vibration of the water we drink and enjoy, I also love that it is present in all things. There is so much more to this life than what we see – what a world it would be if we all made a conscious choice to raise our vibration, to pray, to offer thanksgiving and to care for every aspect of life from humans to the earth and beyond.

When you can’t see out the window… and other problems with lack of clarity

It's a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions  are poison to any living goal.” - Steve Mara… | Words, Inspirational  quotes, Daily quotes

Well, this has been the year. Covid has been around for a year now and the back to normal life will be slow to arrive. I know if you are like me, this is starting to get irritating. Looking back, it did give me time to slow down and to make some changes. I’ve had the opportunity to explore new creative outlets and make some decisions.

I have been asking myself WHAT’S NEXT? WHAT DO I REALLY WANT IN MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE? I have even taken time to ask other women this question and some have never even thought about it. For me, I have thought about it SOOOO much that now I am a confused mess. The world is my oyster and I want to do it all!!! I have come to the conclusion that I suffer from LACK OF CLARITY!

For some of us, we’ve gone through college, started our careers, started buying houses and getting married and having babies before we actually sat down and considered these things. God knows, I am guilty! In my opinion, this very fact is what leads to so many of mid- and quarter-life crises, divorces, epic and dramatic career changes, etc. The lack of clarity then leads to massive emotional burnout!

Want to know if you suffer from LACK OF CLARITY? Check out the list below.

  1. You’re constantly changing your mind. Have you found yourself bouncing from job to job to job? Have you been bouncing around relationships? Have you moved like a million times in the last couple years? Heck, have you been dabbling in a million different hobbies? Then you, my friend, are probably struggling a bit with a lack of clarity.
  2. You’re overwhelmed by having too much to do. Sometimes people aren’t constantly bouncing around from one path to the next. Sometimes they’re not questioning the things that they’re doing with their life. Maybe they’re just doing everything! Stop! It’s a recipe for burnout, disaster and major overwhelm.
  3. You struggle with minor decision making. I’m not talking the big life decisions here like your career, relationships, finances, etc. I’m talking decisions like what movie to see or what brand of cereal to buy or when to workout. AND I am totally preaching to myself on this one, too. If you find yourself struggling with similar minor decisions, you my friend are lacking some serious clarity. But, why would this be an indicator that you’re lacking clarity? It is called decision fatigue and it is a REAL thing. Seriously, your brain is burned OUT and exhausted because of lack of clarity on the bigger parts of your life. That seeps right down into those little decisions too.
  4. You’re constantly questioning yourself. Maybe you’re not someone who changes their mind all the time…but maybe you are someone that questions the decisions you ultimately do make. Instead of the bouncing ball of mind changing, you are questioning everything… those what if questions leave you confused. What if I change my mind? What if this isn’t right for me? What if I fail? Guess what, these what if’s mean you are NOT clear on yourself.
  5. You are chronically disorganized, distracted, and lethargic. Believe it or not, the mind controls the body. So when you struggle with making a decision you tax your brain and exhaust your body. When we’re constantly analyzing, changing our minds, questioning, doubting, ruminating, and second guessing our decisions, even if it’s happening subconsciously, it IS exhausting to our body. So the next time you choose to binge watch Netflix instead of doing something that will make your life better, you have lack of clarity.
  6. You constantly feel anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated and confused. Haven’t had enough bad feelings yet? Here are a few more. Do you feel any of these? If so you are lacking clarity and it can get ugly.
  7. You rely on your inner pollster. Brene Brown… preach it woman! At some points in our life and in our journey, we either get sick of trying to make decisions or we just don’t trust ourselves to make a decision. Now what?! The next best thing…ask someone else. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Getting input from other people – coaches, mentors, therapists, and friends can be important in leading to a decision, just DON’T give all the power of that decision to the other person! Warning – Red Flag on the Play… Disaster Ahead! Why? Because the ARE NOT YOU!

So now that you are as depressed as I am, what can we do about it? I am tired of living in a fog. For me, I know I am on the path to clarity when I begin to DO THE WORK. When I slow down, dig deep and get in touch with my authentic self. I love the idea of visiting your FUTURE SELF to see where he/she is. That is how you begin to create the road map to getting there.

So here are a few things to get you started.

  1. take a personality assessment
  2. dig into your values and write a personal mission statement for personal life and professional life
  3. do some visualization exercises to see yourself living your fullest, freest and most authentic life!

%d bloggers like this: