Most of us have probably said yes to this question. Shedding light on this question however, I hope will begin to create a work in you to be reminded NOT to let the opinions of other shape you!
We can stop letting others control how we feel or think right now.
Chuang Tzu in the 4th century B.C.E. spoke these words, “The whole world could praise Sung Jung-Tzu and it would not make him exert himself. The whole world could condemn him and it would not make him mope. He drew a clear line between the internal and the external.”
It is difficult to not be shaped by what others think. It is hard to stay true to yourself, while staying open to how others feel without letting them affect you by what they think. Others affect us every day. The spiritual work is to let truth and love shape us from the inside out. Maybe the words of Chuang Tzu can be a reminder not to let the opinions of others change us or shape us.
We all have wants:
The want to be liked.
The want to avoid conflict.
The want to be understood.
We can recognize these wants and at the same time, give the voice from within us freedom to come into the light. By doing so, we may not be liked, we may create conflict with the desire for loving resolution and we may find that in trying to be understood, we may agree to disagree.
So, who is shaping you? If the answer is not Source, God, Your Wise Self then it is time to pause and breath. It is time to take back the wheel and live your true intentions and values.
As a child, I loved the story of the princess and the pea. If you are not familiar, there is a princess who gets caught in the rain and knocks on the door of a castle. The queen puts a pea under her bed as a test to see if the young woman will feel it, because only a real princess would be so delicate that she would notice a small pea. As a result, the queen allows the young woman to marry her son, a prince. You see, the princess when asked in the morning, “how did you sleep?”, she replied that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed that she is certain has bruised her. Now, I am not really sure what Anderson had in mind for the MORAL of this tale, but, obviously the princess was super sensitive. So am I – although I can assure you, I am NOT a princess.
Possibly the princess in Hans Christian Andersen’s ‘The Princess and the Pea‘ suffered from FMS since chronic sleep disturbances are typical in FMS. These sleep disturbances have been attributed to a dysfunction in the systems regulating sleep and wakefulness resulting in loss of deep sleep. Again, who knows!
What I DO KNOW is that SLEEP IS IMPORTANT. Let me say that again…. SLEEP IS IMPORTANT
As a society we are sleep deprived. We go to bed late, we look at screens before closing our eyes and even in the middle of the night, we don’t plan for an adequate number of hours in bed and our REM sleep is disrupted. I am not sure if we comprehend the consequences of these actions.
So one in three adults don’t get the recommended seven or more hours of healthy sleep, which can lead to a number of health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and frequent mental distress. See why sleep is important!!! Who wants these things (see above)
Now we have to think about what time to go to bed OR what time to wake up! Did you know that our circadian rhythm, the internal clock that runs our sleep and wake cycle, resets EVERY morning. If we think about our morning rather than our bedtime, maybe we could get into a better routine and feel more energized when we get up.
Just this morning I was counceling a client on better morning habits because she can’t get out of bed. Here are a few tips I offered. Maybe they will help you too.
Have a realistic and consistent bedtime.
Set SEVERAL alarms. Keep at least one across the room so you HAVE to get out of bed.
Short afternoon power naps help. I like a 20-25 minute nap or meditation to “reset” between 1 and 3 pm
Add supplements to your diet. Melatonin and Valerian Root at night might help.
Hado is a Japanese word that means “wave”, or “move,” but the official definition of Hado is: “the intrinsic vibrational pattern at the atomic level in all matter. The smallest unit of energy. Its basis is the energy of human consciousness.” according to and used by Dr. Emoto for his purposes.
The study of Hado was first explored by Dr. Masaru Emoto. Dr. Emoto was born in Yokohama prefecture in July of 1943. He attended Yokohama Municipal University, where he focused his study on International Relations. Then, in 1992, Dr. Emoto earned a Doctor of Alternative Medicine certificate from The Open International University, and was first introduced to micro cluster water. This served as the catalyst to his obsession with the “mysteries” of water, and invention of the Hado school of thought, pertaining to consciousness.
As Dr. Emoto explains on the official Hado website, the above definition essentially means that everything emits an attitude, or aura, and this affects the things around it. What’s more, external stimuli can affect the vibration of certain entities, and thereby change the mood of those entities. Examples of such stimuli are music or spoken or written words.
The study of hado tells us that the energetic vibrations from our thoughts affect on our physical realities. Each of us has the ability to manifest a specific intention through the hado that we send out. However, we are often unaware that our thoughts are creating vibrations in the world outside our minds. Once we know that this is the case, we can become more aware of our negative thinking and train ourselves to stay positive and think with intention.
Giving thanks for a meal before we eat can change the energy of our food. Expressing gratitude by thoughts or words makes a huge difference to both the giver and recipient because you are sending them hado. A kind smile really makes a difference when you work consciously with hado. Once we become aware of the power of hado, we can create positive changes in every area of our lives: our physical space, mental and emotional health, relationships, and businesses. One of the most important principles of hado is to monitor your thoughts and intentions every day. Enjoy the improvements that you will create in your life and the world around you by consciously working with hado.
I love no only the idea of the water having a spirit and that we have the power to change the vibration of the water we drink and enjoy, I also love that it is present in all things. There is so much more to this life than what we see – what a world it would be if we all made a conscious choice to raise our vibration, to pray, to offer thanksgiving and to care for every aspect of life from humans to the earth and beyond.
Well, this has been the year. Covid has been around for a year now and the back to normal life will be slow to arrive. I know if you are like me, this is starting to get irritating. Looking back, it did give me time to slow down and to make some changes. I’ve had the opportunity to explore new creative outlets and make some decisions.
I have been asking myself WHAT’S NEXT? WHAT DO I REALLY WANT IN MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE? I have even taken time to ask other women this question and some have never even thought about it. For me, I have thought about it SOOOO much that now I am a confused mess. The world is my oyster and I want to do it all!!! I have come to the conclusion that I suffer from LACK OF CLARITY!
For some of us, we’ve gone through college, started our careers, started buying houses and getting married and having babies before we actually sat down and considered these things. God knows, I am guilty! In my opinion, this very fact is what leads to so many of mid- and quarter-life crises, divorces, epic and dramatic career changes, etc. The lack of clarity then leads to massive emotional burnout!
Want to know if you suffer from LACK OF CLARITY? Check out the list below.
You’re constantly changing your mind. Have you found yourself bouncing from job to job to job? Have you been bouncing around relationships? Have you moved like a million times in the last couple years? Heck, have you been dabbling in a million different hobbies? Then you, my friend, are probably struggling a bit with a lack of clarity.
You’re overwhelmed by having too much to do. Sometimes people aren’t constantly bouncing around from one path to the next. Sometimes they’re not questioning the things that they’re doing with their life. Maybe they’re just doing everything! Stop! It’s a recipe for burnout, disaster and major overwhelm.
You struggle with minor decision making. I’m not talking the big life decisions here like your career, relationships, finances, etc. I’m talking decisions like what movie to see or what brand of cereal to buy or when to workout. AND I am totally preaching to myself on this one, too. If you find yourself struggling with similar minor decisions, you my friend are lacking some serious clarity. But, why would this be an indicator that you’re lacking clarity? It is called decision fatigue and it is a REAL thing. Seriously, your brain is burned OUT and exhausted because of lack of clarity on the bigger parts of your life. That seeps right down into those little decisions too.
You’re constantly questioning yourself. Maybe you’re not someone who changes their mind all the time…but maybe you are someone that questions the decisions you ultimately do make. Instead of the bouncing ball of mind changing, you are questioning everything… those what if questions leave you confused. What if I change my mind? What if this isn’t right for me? What if I fail? Guess what, these what if’s mean you are NOT clear on yourself.
You are chronically disorganized, distracted, and lethargic. Believe it or not, the mind controls the body. So when you struggle with making a decision you tax your brain and exhaust your body. When we’re constantly analyzing, changing our minds, questioning, doubting, ruminating, and second guessing our decisions, even if it’s happening subconsciously, it IS exhausting to our body. So the next time you choose to binge watch Netflix instead of doing something that will make your life better, you have lack of clarity.
You constantly feel anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated and confused. Haven’t had enough bad feelings yet? Here are a few more. Do you feel any of these? If so you are lacking clarity and it can get ugly.
You rely on your inner pollster. Brene Brown… preach it woman! At some points in our life and in our journey, we either get sick of trying to make decisions or we just don’t trust ourselves to make a decision. Now what?! The next best thing…ask someone else. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Getting input from other people – coaches, mentors, therapists, and friends can be important in leading to a decision, just DON’T give all the power of that decision to the other person! Warning – Red Flag on the Play… Disaster Ahead! Why? Because the ARE NOT YOU!
So now that you are as depressed as I am, what can we do about it? I am tired of living in a fog. For me, I know I am on the path to clarity when I begin to DO THE WORK. When I slow down, dig deep and get in touch with my authentic self. I love the idea of visiting your FUTURE SELF to see where he/she is. That is how you begin to create the road map to getting there.
So here are a few things to get you started.
take a personality assessment
dig into your values and write a personal mission statement for personal life and professional life
do some visualization exercises to see yourself living your fullest, freest and most authentic life!
I have been getting “messages” pretty strongly in the past few weeks to pay closer attention to the voices in my head. We all have them. Some came from parents, others from kids and teachers growing up and still more just by being a living, breathing human interacting in the world. We take in and internalize more than we KNOW!
Through my meditation practice, I am learning to observe those voices and to detach from them because again I am learning those voices are not me! I have conditioned myself on a subconscious level to believe them and then let those thoughts run my life.
I believe this keeps coming back to me so I can get better at taming them. It’s a process I know. One I will need to revisit often.
A take away for me is to be gentle with myself. It means digging in and uncovering the many layers until I can expose these voices to the light and the truth.
Eckhart Tolle said, ” What a liberation to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”
We have all had periods of unhappiness and stress in our lives. Somehow when we hit those low points we tell ourselves we are the only ones. The “other person” over there has no idea, they are at perfect peace and content with everything and everyone. Why? Why, when we are down do we escalate our own sorrow by telling ourselves these lies?
Remember, maybe, back in high school, you said, “I’ll be happy when I finally graduate.” Then, when graduation day finally comes and goes, you say, “I’ll be happy when I get out of college.” After that, you’re out of college but you’re back in the parent’s house and you just know you’ll be happy when you finally get your own place.
You get a job and get your own place—but you’re not making much. That’s when you just know you’ll be happy once you make a little more money. Then you get a raise, and everything seems to be going well, until you realize that you’re lonely—and if that perfect guy or special lady would come along, you’d finally be happy.
This is a story many of us have lived. What we have here is a contentment problem. A failure to communicate with ourselves on a REAL level. Our world is addicted to a “Bigger is better” and “What’s next?” mentality. So the idea of just slowing down and enjoying what you have right in front of you before moving on to the next thing is foreign to some people.
Contentment is a powerful thing! When you truly realize who you are, you can own stuff without being weighed down by it—and you can finally climb off the “I’ll be happy when …” treadmill and stop comparing yourself to others.
The Bible says God knew us before He even formed us in the womb and that He knows the number of hairs on our head. That’s deep! He doesn’t love us because of our Tory Burch shoes or our Louis Vuitton purse. He loves us because He created us. We were the first of His creations that He called “very good”!
Buddhists believe to find contentment in ourselves and in our lives, we must develop a few skills — known as the Five Faculties in Buddhism which later, with practice, become powers. Through practice and development, we can overcome obstacles on the path to ease and contentment.
The skills we must strengthen, develop and implement are:
Confidence / Faith
So, what IF you still struggling? Well, I have some good news for you. Take time for some introspection. It’s okay. Let go of any FOMO here and go inward. Meditate, journal, ask questions and then see what your intuition tells you. Maybe it’s time for some coaching. Sitting down with someone and have them help you sort out some of the questions.
The grass is not always greener – but sometimes it is… in which case it’s time to make a change. But, more often, I think it’s just a different kind of grass!!!!
Keep it real people and if you think you want an ear to hear you. A coach to ask you some questions I am here for you! Reach out
What’s a girl to do when she loves to travel and can’t grab the passport and hubby and fly?
This pandemic has taught me that I can still nourish my inner explorer even if I can’t get on the plane and be in that exotic location. I can see and experience what is right in front of me and what is around me. I can nourish my soul by taking long walks on the beach and listening wholeheartedly to the waves and the wind. I can nurture relationships with my neighbors and have a meaningful conversation rather than a quick wave and “hello”. I can create fun events to bring people together for a cause even if we are not in the same room. I can stretch myself and learn new things that I never thought were achievable.
Life IS a journey. Are you packed?
Remember, exploration can happen around the block or across the sea. If you still are trying to find that soul of a wanderer, it’s not too late. This evening go out and look at the stars with new eyes. In the morning watch the sunrise and be ready to experience wholeheartedly all that the day has in store.
I hope you will share what you find with me in the comments below!
Yesterday I chose to spend 5 hours on zoom with people from all over the world – all on a path to better themselves and the communities they live in. A movement to raise the vibration of love and a spirit of giving and service. One of my mentors is Brendon Burchard. I only found him recently – at the start of 2020 in my quest for WISDOM… my word for that fateful year.
Yesterday at the end of our “GrowthDay” summit, Brendon dropped a pearl of great wisdom. He said if 2020 felt like a year of constriction, the equal and opposite reaction would be moving into 2021 as a year of expansion. I loved this and it also fit so well into what God put on my heart as my word for 2021 – ABUNDANCE. Abundance, expansion, that spirit of growing from within is what is motivating me to meet the day no matter what “happens.”
As with so many things I open and read, there was another thread that fit this idea in my prayers and reading this morning. Mark Nepo writes, “We cannot hold on to things and enter. We must put down what we carry, open the door and then take up only what we need to step inside.” Visualizing what I must put down now in order to walk through the door and into this year will be a process for me this week for sure. Things come up all the time and I am grateful for the reminders.
When we learn to fall (and we will), we must remember to get up and only the rare few will then laugh! So let the ego go… let the learning continue because you only learn when you fail but be the person getting up laughing.
In my variety of readings this Christmas Eve morning, I read Seth Godin’s blog post about “the seeds we plant.” It resonated with me on many levels. I know many of us feel that 2020 was a horrible, even wasted year, but that may not be true. Yes, schedules were interrupted, goals revised or thrown away, vacations halted and even jobs lost.
My hunch however, is for most of us, we actually DID plant some seeds perhaps without knowing it. And yes, there are those too who did not but the good news there is that there is always today and tomorrow and the day after that to become inspired.
The New Year is about to start and we each have been blessed with a clean slate to work from as 2021 begins. As a yoga teacher and practitioner, a yoga class centered around the this idea of planting seeds that were meant to represent aspects of our life we can plant and watch and work as they grow throughout the year. Moving from pose to pose, with our palms in downward dog, or with our knees and toes in child’s pose, we can visualize planting our seeds.
Picture an enormous garden, or an empty field that was longing to be turned into a forest. Now imagine you are a vessel filled with seeds and every time you touched the ground, a new pod would be planted. Plant seeds of love for family. Plant some in honor of wishes of health for the people you know who are going through physical hardships. Plant seeds that represent your passions and goals in both business and service. As you plant, imagine that the seeds you plant today would grow into a lush forest or beautiful vegetable garden, bearing fruits that you would share with everyone in your life. See the pods growing and in what season – perhaps the early spring or some transformed in the summer’s heat. And some, even with loving care and attention may never take root. The forest and garden you plant represent you and the body you live inside. You are not your body but your authentic and true self – the one that longs to be heard and released resides inside the body. The body houses “you” and helps us live and touch as many people’s lives as possible.
Most believers are familiar with the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13, Mark 4 and Luke 8). The emphasis in this parable is usually placed on the soil onto which the seed fell. But if you shift the focus from the different types of soil discussed in the parable what is left is another spiritual truth of great importance… The seed is the Word of God. Again, in faith, we see this idea of planting seeds playing a part in our lives.
When a believer focuses on the Word of God as life-giving seed, having faith becomes much easier. It is the Word that is doing the work to change the situation, not the one doing the speaking. Once we have chosen a scripture to stand on and have declared it concerning our situation, we, from that point on, begin to thank God daily that the seed is in the ground growing. Every time we declare the Word is at work in our situation, it is like watering a seed that has been planted in the ground – it is giving that seed the nourishment it needs to grow. Our praising/thanking God for the harvest of the seed planted is what is needed for the seed to develop to maturity.
Finally, there is another important aspect to the Word being recognized as seed. That is, seed takes time to grow. While we would all like to see instantaneous results to our prayers, more times than not it does not happen in that way. In Genesis 8:22a God established the principle of “seedtime and harvest”; 22 As long as the world exists, there will be a time for planting and a time for harvest…” (GNT) Stated another way, “seed + time = harvest.” It’s really quite simple (although not always easy). The Word has an answer for any situation we could possibly face. It comes in the form of a seed. All God asks of us is to plant it and keep it watered through praise and thanksgiving until the harvest comes.
So I am going to continue to plant seeds, to water them and to give praise and thanksgiving through my faith. Even if you are not religious, you can still realize this idea of planting seeds to start out the New Year on a more positive and selfless note.
Each year I choose a word that I live with and really dig into throughout the year. Last year in 2020, my word was WISDOM (discernment) and boy oh boy did I learn A LOT! In a year of huge change and life looking nothing like we are used to, this year gave me ample time to learn and grow. By no means have I figured it all out but as I begin to reflect on the months of this year, I am amazed at what I did accomplish and learn.
I began a journey with a mentor photographer who has rearranged my photography business and my mindset when it comes to my “head trash”. I have joined a local AND worldwide community where I am learning to be a better business woman and human. I have reached out to my church and found a new small group bible study. I have started therapy again (with husband by my side) to better equip myself with boundaries dealing with my adult child. I have read books and books and books (20 in all) AND listened to countless podcasts and audible books. I have shown up on my mat every day at 5 am for meditation, prayer and my miracle morning routine. And I can go on!
Moving into 2021, my word that I have prayed for and that keeps coming back to me is abundance. In a spiritual context, the notion of abundance or plenty is less about material conditions, revolving instead (once basic needs are met), around an appreciation of life in its fullness, joy and strength of mind, body and soul. This is the cultivation of respect for the creative energy of the universe.
As I being I have thought about some ways I can attract abundance. If you have more please share them in the comments!
Begin with gratitude. This is ALWAYS my first go to with everything I do. Thanksgiving and gratitude. I set my feet on the floor and say “thank you” to God for this new day. I believe miracles happen just by beginning there.
Dream big. Everything begins in the heart and mind. Every great achievement began in the mind of one person. Think big. Don’t let negative thinking discourage you. That head trash will never go away so just learn to tame the bully. Dream of the possibilities for yourself, your family and for others. If you had a dream that you let grow cold, re-ignite the dream! Fan the flames. Life is too short to let it go.
Alter the mindset. No more fear-based mindset allowed. Believe you have abundance and let go of limiting beliefs.
Stop making excuses. This one is in NEON for me. I can get lost in my sea of excuses. Decisions lead directly to destiny. Do you believe that? You should. It’s true. Sooner or later, what you do—and who you really are—determines what you ultimately achieve.
Build your empowering reality. You’re creating your reality right now. Being very intentional about the reality that you’re creating is an action step. Reality is subjective; if you realize that it’s a construct, if you realize that you are choosing to believe something, then you can choose to believe that you can do something about it.
Write down the beliefs that you have about yourself. On one side, list the things that empower you and move you forward. The things that make you more confident, that give you the courage and the audacity to move forward. On the other side, list the things that demotivate or demean you and move you away from your goals. You can choose to believe things that empower you, and you can choose to ignore the things that move you backward.
Realize your potential. The wonderful thing about potential is that it can build upon itself. If you can just get the snowball rolling, the energy of motion will take over. Think for a moment about the people you respect. Why do you admire them? You are probably drawn to them because they are full of realized potential. When we see people exerting this kind of energy, it compels us to draw ourselves closer to them and become a part of what they are doing.
Commit to living your dream. Another doozy!!! Once you commit to living your dreams, the lids blinding your eyes will be lifted. A completely new world will be opened to your view. You will notice opportunities that have been in your reach all along, ones your conscious mind simply didn’t pay heed to. The fundamental change taking place is your self- identity. This is the point of no return. Once this shift has happened, your whole world changes.
Nothing is impossible to you.
Your only limitations are your consciousness, which is quickly expanding.
Whatever you want quickly becomes yours because you see what most people don’t.
Now that you can see it everywhere, you are sprinting.
9. Be “OTHERS” oriented. When you stand on the beach and watch the waves hit the shore, do you think there’s any end to the water? There is, of course, but we can’t comprehend it, so we think seawater is endlessly abundant. You would never deny a bucketful to a child building a sand castle because you can refill that bucket again and again. That’s how the abundance mindset works. You give away praise, recognition, ideas, knowledge and money because you know there’s plenty to go around. What you give away will come back to you a thousand times over. ( I think this is why I am drawn to the ocean)
10. Make the most of the infinite possibilities born of faith. Explore the unique, endless possibilities within you.
So cheers to a new year and another new chapter….
Please let me know your word for 2021 AND if you can add to my abundance I will add to yours