Back in October of 2021 I accepted a job to help me get out of the house during the lull in the pandemic and to help free my mind from some of the family and personal drama I was dealing with. I thought that working in a high paced, busy and socially connected environment would be a good balance to my week.
Never having worked for anyone other than myself (except for the time I taught school) I knew there would be a learning curve but that ultimately the skills needed to do my job successfully would be easily transferable. Well, boy did I LEARN A LOT…..
First let me tell you getting fired SUCKS. Footnote: I didn’t actually get fired. They said if I didn’t leave on my own I would get fired…
Want to know more?
- losing your job suddenly feels like failure personified.
- the emotional rollercoaster takes you on the ride of emotion, embarrassment, shame, worthlessness, self-pity and depression
- it is devastating and stressful because your work becomes part of your identity
YIKES! I was not prepared for this. It is like being asked would you like to eat the scorpion or drink the poison? NO and NO….
So because you guys know me, you know I am an empath and I saw this coming a mile away. I just wanted to go on my terms in my timing. I had already shared with my life coach that I was choosing to make March my January and to offer myself the grace of a reset. I had already committed to a DRY MARCH (my personal March Madness) and to get back to some important routines that I had let slip over the winter. Well, funny thing about that good old universe. IT LISTENS and if you are open IT ALSO ACTS!
God didn’t shut that door – baby he SLAMMED it shut. The window didn’t just close either. It is locked and boarded shut. And after giving less than 48 hours to my ride on the rollercoaster of I lost my job, I jumped off!
My situation is unique as is yours. Below are some things that might help you reframe your circumstance. For me, I was grateful for the experience. I don’t need to revisit my time there or even visit the establishment every again for that matter. If I see someone around town I will be polite because that is who I am. What is that saying… When they go low, you go high.
Here is that list I promised:
Give yourself time to grieve the loss in its entirety—the daily routine that was familiar and comfortable, the interactions with former colleagues, and the sense of purpose or worth that your work gave you—even if it wasn’t your dream job. It’s a lot to take in.
Permit yourself to process the complicated emotions. Maybe even allow yourself some time to sulk and feel sorry for yourself. Go ahead and let it out. You are hereby granted permission to get into sweats and be the antithesis of productive.
But only for a limited time. After a couple of days, you’ve got to face the outside world again.
2. Don’t Compare and Despair.
Take a social media breather for a while. Stop thinking about what everyone else is doing, and just focus on you.
3. Reframe the Situation
Thought it may seem impossible, one way to bounce back is to reframe your experience. Turn your job loss into an opportunity.
4. Work Out
At a time like this, you want to do everything you can to move the odds squarely in your favor. Grab those kettle bells, go out for a run, or do daily push-ups, and notice how the physical exertion impacts your well-being. And please practice some YOGA and MEDITATION. CALL me! I can help.
5. Write a Thank You Note
Seriously, don’t laugh. I am a huge writer of notes. They are so important and if you don’t write them, you might consider starting. And at the end of the day, a simple note of gratitude will get you a lot further than burning bridges.
A few more if you feel these apply to your job needs. Mine was a part-time gig so these are not really things I personally invested in. (disclaimer LOL but seriously some good things to do!)
1. Understand What Went Wrong
Being fired for performance (even if you weren’t made privy to the precise problems in your exit conversation) means you probably have some things to work on. The question is, how aware are you of your shortcomings? Do your best to identify them and avoid carrying them over to what lies ahead.
Start by re-reading all your employer reviews. Make note of the things you were praised for doing—you’ll want to take those with you to your next role. Consider too the development suggestions. What are they telling you? How could you have improved your performance?
2. Have Difficult Conversations
Reach out to trustworthy former colleagues and request honest feedback. Ask them about both your strengths and your weaknesses. Identify emerging themes or patterns after you’ve spoken with a few people. Recognize and acknowledge the issues that surface from this valuable and candid feedback.
When they share their thoughts, listen. Don’t argue, debate, or contradict. Don’t defend yourself or blame someone else. Simply pay attention. Although this is a challenging exercise, it will serve you, and your career, well.
3. Make a Corrective Action Plan
Once you get feedback from your peers, figure out what you can do to improve performance issues you want to work on. Is there a class you can take to build a skill? Books you can read to help you deal more effectively with others? Podcasts or videos that will help untangle the issues that stymied you? Should you get some coaching in a certain area, such as time management?
Using difficult feedback to get back into a learning mode will boosts your confidence and gets your focus from your loss to planning your next win.
This Practical Insanity chapter in your life is so well thought out, so beautifully written. You do have a way with words and are an EXCELLENT writer; a book with your story and your thoughts on reframing circumstances that are so on target would be a very interesting and helpful read. My thoughts: THEIR LOSS, YOUR GAIN.