We all have had the 2:00am phone call. I don’t really even need to explain really do I? Sleeping and at peace, warm under the covers and perhaps dreaming. Then the rude intrusion. The jump, the heart racing, the panic and questions, the breaking through the fog to have clarity so you can find the phone; all happening simultaneously. I had one of those calls last night. I am not a stranger to them either. Honestly, almost every night I struggle with the thought, “Do I leave the ringer on or turn it off?” before going to bed. I hate this struggle and it is unwelcome each and every night. Then as you might predict, ringer ON, wins almost every time.
Last night the call was difficult. It left me sad and helpless as it does most times. I don’t say the right thing and I don’t even listen correctly according to the voice on the other end of my line. So what do I do after being completely helpless and traveling the same path around the tree that we have become so familiar with? I lie awake, I pray, I read to get my mind to go somewhere else besides on the helpless situation I can do nothing to fix. I pray more and maybe if God is merciful, I get an hour or two more of sleep before I face my day.
Maybe you too are no stranger to this situation. Maybe you, like me, have an internal battle that keeps us from severing the cord once and for all. Maybe you, also like me, have a support system who helps you keep clarity. If not, get one soon. I am available. I am here if you want to share you story with me. Maybe it will help to release it!
So sorry, Honey. Turn the ringer off. This is a patterned behavior, and the call can wait until later in the day.