Dreams – Faith – Love

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“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’…I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. ”

Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech changed the world. He showed us that dreams have tremendous power, and eventually, all dreams fueled by faith, passion, patience and persistence come to fruition.

In honor of the man who had that noble dream, here are five thoughts on the true power of dreams. (Huffington Post)

1) Dreams give us vision. Our dreams can take us from chaos to clarity, and eventually to concept. Keep a dream journal to start understanding the language of your unconscious. Look for recurring symbols that may offer a meaningful perspective on an issue you may be struggling with. After a night filled with vivid dreams, jot or doodle down as many images or thoughts you can remember. Symbols may emerge as guides in your daily life, as well as creative allies, leading to self-realization and fulfillment.

2) Dreams can bring direction to our detours. We’ve all had things in life that haven’t worked out as we planned — a breakup, a breakdown, a loss, a setback — everyone deals with “detours” in their path. A detour is many things — unexpected, a nuisance, difficult, hard to grapple with, frustrating — but it can be beautiful. When the road looks like a dead-end, our dreams can create new pathways for us to travel along. Dreams help us find the beauty in “not knowing” by bringing images and sensations into our awareness that we might not be able to grasp onto ourselves, when trying to navigate our detoured route. Dreams have the power turn our “detours” in life into everyday blessings.

3) Dreams give us faith that healing is possible. They show us the potential of the human spirit. As Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger, says, “I have come to the conclusion that human beings are born with an innate capacity to triumph over trauma. I believe not only that trauma is curable, but that the healing process can be a catalyst for profound awakening — a portal opening to emotional and genuine spiritual transformation. I have little doubt that as individuals, families, communities, and even nations, we have the capacity to learn how to heal and prevent much of the damage done by trauma. In so doing, we will significantly increase our ability to achieve both our individual and collective dreams.”

4) Dreams fuel the fierce drive to bring our passion into the world. Dreams come from our innermost desires. They tell us not necessarily how we’ll get there, but why we need to get there. Once we have the “why”, the “how” will work itself out. All we need is that fierce conviction that can only come from dreams to act as our compass. Keep dreaming — Remember: Martin Luther King Jr. once gave a riveting “I have a dream” speech. It was NOT the “I have a plan” speech! How can it create the world of your dreams?

5) Dreams remind us who we are. Our dreams are the seeds that God plans for us, where our intuition whispers to us, and where we can find an anchor to our place in the world — even if we are “displaced” from it. In our dreams, we can find our way back home. After almost losing my own life, my dreams are now my safe place, where I can mingle with myself and with God. They are my Velcro to the universe and an ever-flowing fountain of faith, replenishing my trust in life whenever circumstances may make me afraid. Dreams dreamed me back into life.

 

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

 Faith is believing, without proof that something exists or that something will happen. Faith is the key that unlocks the treasure chest God has placed inside each and every one of us, the key that unlocks the doors to endless opportunities. It takes faith to believe in even the most unproven things.  Nothing in life can be achieved without first having the faith and belief that you can. The bible says without faith it is impossible to please God. He has given us all that we need to accomplish all that he desires for and from us. No matter what obstacles life may place before you, faith gives you the motivation to take that first step….even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

It takes a lot of courage to pursue your goals and dreams.  Sometimes that path forward will be unclear and paved with many unknowns.  This is where the importance of having faith comes in.  We must have faith that the universe will place the necessary steps for our goals and dreams in front of us along the way.  This belief can give us the courage to start taking action, and you can’t manifest all that you desire without action. Have the courage to simply begin.  Embrace the journey and the unknown, practice faith, take consistent action and don’t quit! 

APPLICATION

Grab some paper and write down a couple of things you have been reluctant to get started on do largely to a lack of faith in your ability to complete the entire staircase.  Take into consideration all the different roles and aspects of our life, including work, social, family, etc…

Next to each item on your list, write down what the first step (or two, if you can see that far up the staircase) is or what action it involves. How difficult was that? As long as you know where the staircase will take you, and where the first step is, it shouldn’t be too difficult, if you faith.

Select one of your staircases, and get ready to climb. Look at what you wrote down for the first step in this staircase. Are there smaller steps within that step, or are there preparations you need to make before you start? Take a moment and think about that, and write down anything that comes to mind.

Now that you know what you’re doing and have an idea what steps are involved, the last two things are to do what research you need to do (presuming there are things you think you should know before starting up the staircase), and to actually take that first step.

Once you have taken the first step, feel free to repeat the process on paper for as many steps as it takes to become familiar with the process. Eventually, you will simply do them, because they will have become part of you and how you operate.

From time to time, things will go wrong. You will falter, you may even fall. But with faith in yourself, faith in the presence of the staircase, and faith in the next stair, and faith in God you will get there. And the journey is half the fun, isn’t it?

” I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  Martin Luther King Jr.

Hate built up over time can and will become toxic.  Toxicity over time can and will consume us and we too will become toxic.  We can rid ourselves of the toxicity of hate, but only if we are willing to do so.

Yes, it is true, we are not always treated fairly, we are not always treated with respect, in fact, we may have been mistreated, sometimes by the people whom we least expect, even by the very ones who are closest to us and are supposed to love us.  As a result, we may feel justified in holding grudges, disliking…a lot, even hating; however, in doing so we are ultimately harming ourselves because this will become a cancer and in holding on to it we allow it to grow and fester, and ultimately it changes who we are.  We then become full of anger and hate…just like the very person who we felt had wronged us.  The Bible says in Matthew 5:44 that we should love our enemies.  We should bless those who curse us, do good to those who hate us, and pray for those who spitefully use us and persecute us.  We must learn to forgive.  To love is to forgive and love is the most precious gift given to us.  We can choose to stick with love by inviting that place within us where God dwells to take over.  And recognize that God is love.

Let us all do a little soul searching today; if you find any sense of hate, lingering in the corners of your mind, and we know that it can disguise itself quite well, shine the light of love on it and watch it disappear.  After all, darkness cannot exist in the presence of light.  Hate can only exist in the darkness and where there is a sense of separation from God, who is the Light.

Although you cannot make anyone love you, they cannot make you hate them.  It is a conscious decision and we have the knowledge, freedom and willpower to make that choice. Yes, I, too, have decided to stick with love…How about you???

 

 Thank you, Martin Luther King Jr., for inspiring faith, dreams, love and all the power they hold for our world. The greatest gift we can give to each other is little steps in faith, trust, compassion, and bringing our dreams to light.

Soul Travel

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“To travel is to live.”  – Hans Christian Andersen

I have a confession to make, I’m a traveler at heart.

Sometimes I fantasize about wandering the globe with my journal and my camera, staying in Italy a month, off to Australia for half the year then slowly hopping my way around the world.  But life has a way of rooting us down. Maybe it’s a family obligation like raising children or caring for a family member.  It could be a job, liking what is familiar or simply convenience that keeps us from wandering.  Whatever the reason you have for staying in one place, make sure to schedule time away.  Time to explore a new city or to simply relax.  We all need it — our bodies, minds, and soul.  Being away from home feeds our souls.  I know that because each time I go, I come back changed for the better.  I have a new pearl, a new understanding, a new perspective that enriches my life at home.  Did you know that travel also provides a variety of surprising personal and health benefits. Studies show travel leads to a greater learning capacity, increased feeling of happiness and satisfaction, better family relationships, and even decreased risk of heart disease.  A nine-year study of 12,000 men found that those who took at least one vacation per year were 30% less likely to die from heart disease. Another study showed individuals who didn’t take a vacation were twice as likely to have a heart attack.  Travel is also linked to a lower risk of depression. A 2005 study showed significantly decreased risk of depression among 15,000 women.  Travel is a learning experience. The new cultures, cuisines, sights, and sounds provide countless opportunities to experience and learn something new. Just being in another country increases the traveler’s knowledge and intercultural awareness.  It’s common knowledge that travel helps to bring people together by building lifelong memories. Couples are strongly and positively affected by trips taken together. More than 75 percent of adults credit travel with improving their interpersonal relationships. Studies show family travel can also significantly reduce behavioral problems and illness in children.

  1. Step out of your work mode. 

    A vacation or time off provides time for your body and mind to relax. We live in a work obsessed culture especially here in the US.  Somehow we get tricked into thinking that we don’t need down time and if you do think you need it or want to take it we are made to feel badly for it. But we all do. Studies have even shown that taking a vacation makes you a more productive worker. Schedule in that time to go away and relax.

    2. Disconnect.

    Taking yourself out of the normal day-to-day routine of life allows you to unplug in a way a “stay-cation” doesn’t. When you’re home, there’s always something to do: cleaning, laundry, home repair. On vacation, none of that applies. Someone else will do it all.  Let your job be – HAVE FUN!

    3.  Reflect.

    Being removed from your normal every day life gives you a fresh perspective on life.  In the daily grind of life, it’s easy to get caught always looking at the next thing on the to-do list.  Stepping out of that allows us to see the bigger picture of our lives, where we are and where we want to go.  It gives us a chance to dream, wish, explore and break some habits.

    4.  Create.

    Getting out of the normal routine and into a vacation or holiday space, is an invitation to open up to your own creative mind.  Creativity is hard to manufacture on demand.  It needs space and time.  You will be surprised at how walking along the beach,biking, lying in the sun or hiking a mountain trail can stimulate your creative juices.  Problems at home or at work that may be consuming you can begin to uncover some clarity and answers or solutions can manifest when given the time and space to come through.

    5. Play.

    Reconnect with your inner child.  Allow yourself to have fun.  Sing or dance or just allow yourself to be playful and silly.  You will thank you!

     

Photography – Anticipation

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Ready to Ride!

Many years ago I took my son to the beach to surf and snapped this photo.  It was a cold morning and he was pumped to get out there in his wet-suit to enjoy the ocean he so loved.  We had moved to the beach from the mountains of Virginia so the joy of not having to wait for a vacation to see Grandparents and visit the beach was heaven to him.  He wanted me to take my camera so I could get a few shots of him catching a wave.  This photo was taken moments before he heading into the water.  I love how he is taking it all in! To this day, my now 24 year old son, still puts on the wet-suit on those cold days and heads to the beach for some time in the surf.  I just don’t have to drive him anymore.

Photo- New Horizon

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New Horizon” target=”_blank”>The photo challenge this week was challenging you to think ahead and show your work in a representative photo.  Rather than a resolution I felt compelled to show something that you want to achieve — a rebirth of me!   2017 I hope will take me from a chrysalis to a butterfly.  I love this image for many reasons.  I love the way the blue of the wings jumps out from the green surroundings.  I see myself making a bold step – NOT blending in to the status quo or norm.  I love how the butterfly is perched ready to fly.  The possibilities of where, for how long and how far have yet to be determined.  I love how her wings are spread out to their fullest in both directions – open and ready to receive.  I could not think of a better image to represent my ‘New Horizon” for the coming year.

Courage

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The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.  – Mignon McLaughlin

I’ve been busy but truth be told I believe I have been stuck.  There have been times in my life where my musings have come quite easily and I can clearly articulate them whether it be in poem, in story or in journal writing.  My inspiration can come from the most unlikely places at times but mostly my inspirations come from those people and experiences that make me FEEL the most.  For example, when I first met my husband, I was intoxicated with feelings.  I could write and create all day long about this new relationship and the powerful and wonderful feelings I was feeling.  My therapist likes to remind me that emotions love themselves.  Once we allow one to come to the surface it likes and enjoys the attention.  This is great when we are feeling good right? Who doesn’t love to feel joy, pleasure, happiness, elation, and the like and then to share it with the world.  But what about those “other” emotions.  You know the ones that we wish would stay far, far away; sadness, guilt, anxiety, pain.  When those feelings surface they seem to hang around much longer than we like while the “good ones” leave us way too soon.  Lately I have gone into my cave. I have made the decision consciously or unconsciously to just exist in the moment, to let my life flow through me, and not hang around to make any kind of mark.  But again, truth be told, it does anyway.  Think of the stones under the riverbed.  The water rushes over them day in and day out.  That water changes the stones over time.  They get worn down, polished, moved.  Each one has a story because it has been marked by those currents regardless of where they are placed.  Lately I have been letting the currents of my life move over me without taking much time to pay attention.

This past weekend I flew to Connecticut to reunite with a beautiful group of women as we celebrated our 35th high school class reunion.  Many of these amazing women I was not friends with in high school yet we fell easily into conversation over the course of two days.  We remembered shared and familiar experiences from our past, we learned about our lives after high school and we met each other as if for the first time as fifty-something women with life stories and experiences to share.  I was truly grateful for being able to participate not just in body but in spirit.  To be present and open to receive each woman who I came in contact with was like adding a pearl to a necklace and I came away richly blessed.

There was a part of me that was worried about making the journey.  How would I share my story?  What should I reveal what should I keep to myself?  When talk of strong marriages and successful children come up what will I bring to the conversation?  Will they find me unworthy of their time when they learn of my reality?  I had to think about these questions as I was making my decision.  But the truth was all these questions were already answered by me long before the reunion.  Over the years I have learned that too many people hide themselves and cut themselves off from living their authentic lives.  I want to break through that.  If I can be the one to start the conversation bring it on.  I am strong enough to share.  I have been given a voice to speak and a heart to care and a faith that will sustain me even in my darkest and saddest of times.  So with the tools I have been taught and those I am learning I can use my wise-mind and I can live in the moment and be present for myself and those put in my path.   I don’t just have to embrace and share the joy.  I can share the pain with the intention of hoping to reach someone else and maybe even easing some of their pain.

My daughter is not doing well.  I am worried about her and for her.  All I have is prayer to give her right now.  I am living my life in the moment.  Enjoying my work, my loving husband, my ever loyal sweet dogs and my friends who know how to love me.  I am grateful for this platform and for those of you who take the time to read.

Til next time, peace.

Better Late Than Never

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Wow!  The summer came and went so fast.  I had so many good intentions of posting throughout the summer but I didn’t.  You have to get back on the horse sometime and better late than never right?  Funny how those statements can make me feel so much better 🙂

My summer was busy, yes.  But not so busy that I could not take time to post.  I checked out.  My photography work kept me busy and really took all my “happy” energy every day.  My mentally ill daughter was living at home and with no car, I was her means of transportation to work, meetings and other events she requested to go to.  I prayed daily for her, and still do, to start making better choices but sadly she is not there yet.  It does depress me.  I do feel helpless and sad.  I also feel angry, mad and frustrated.  Those three “c’s” chant in my head like a mantra…

So I am turning the page.  She is out of our home again.  I am moving into a time of busy social activities and less business for a time.  I am looking forward to cooler mornings, walks with the dogs, coffee with my husband and travel.  A weekend in the mountains, listening to a great concert, attending a Broadway musical, trips to DC and Tucson, my 35th high school reunion are gifts I am going to cherish.

I am grateful that I can forgive myself for my mistakes.  I am grateful that God forgives me even more!  I am so glad I can keep on writing even after two months off.

Catch ya later!602382_486394408057472_502052500_n

 

Happy Father’s Day

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I have every good intention of posting over the course of the last month.  I wish I had a good excuse but I honestly don’t.  The best and most honest answer would be that life got in the way and this was obviously not a priority or it would have been done just as laundry, house cleaning, shopping and going to work all get done.  I have missed this and I am grateful to be sitting here, taking a few moments to write before I go to church.

It is a beautiful Sunday morning here in Charleston.  The weather the past week or so has felt like the middle of August with heat indexes over 100 and humidity that leaves you more than dewy.  After the crazy storm two nights ago we have enjoyed cooler temps and lower humidity making everyone just a bit more energetic!  These days are priceless.  They will not last long so I for one have been making sure I get the most out of them.  Getting up earlier, drinking my coffee outside, having cocktail hour down by the marsh, biking and taking long walks with my husband and dogs.

Today is also Father’s Day.  I have been blessed to have my dad around for all the years I have been on this earth, (52 1/2 to be exact).  He is such an inspiration.  I know I can speak for my brother and two sisters when I say we love our dad and appreciate all he has taught us about life, love, generosity, and faith.  I pray we have many more Father’s Days to celebrate with him on this earth.  Today I am grateful for one more.

When I think of my dad I think of:

hard work – the law – Ballentine Ale – sweat bands – piano music – singing – cooking – messes – clam bakes – political exchanges – friendships – travel – Florida – Black Russians – White Russians – wine – pasta at midnight – painting – loud talking – naps – ear aches – birthday treats – the land – the cottage – nicknames – LIVING BIG

That’s my dad.

 

Frustration – Watch What You Say!

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Last night I had another frustrating night after a long and equally frustrating day with my mentally ill adult/child.  There are days when it gets really hard to be supportive, loving and even civil.  Then the lines of what is the illness and what is the person get even more blurred.  I found a really good read on psychcentral.com that I though I would share today.  It speaks to this very issue and shares some of the things you should NOT say to someone suffering.

 

  • Get over it: It’s so easy to say these words when you are frustrated or “fed up.” Someone who ruminates or harps on the same things over and over can truly affect your own mental health. Someone who, for example, is severely depressed and continually speaks to you about a depressing situation, can make you feel depressed. Your thoughts may be “please get over it!” It’s perfectly fine to have your thoughts, but be mindful with what you say. It’s really easy to come across as uncaring, even if you don’t mean to be.
  • You are not the only one: This statement can be said in the heat of the moment during an argument or period of frustration. This statement is often used by some people as an attempt to encourage another individual to get motivated to do something. For example, you may feel as if the person suffering is using their condition as an excuse to avoid doing things such as seeking employment, keeping a job long-term, or doing household chores. I’ve often heard this statement made from some parents to teens who are struggling with depression and tends to avoid doing homework or stays isolated in their bedroom.
  • Don’t use this as an excuse: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a person’s condition and begin to think “they are using this as an excuse to avoid their responsibilities.” Be careful because this doesn’t have to be the case.
  • You aren’t trying: When a client is told that they are not trying, they are likely to not try at all. This is called a “self-fulfilling prophecy.” A self-fulfilling prophecy is a type of phenomenon that occurs when someone is either told something that they begin to believe as true or when the individual himself begins to tell his own mind something that is eventually believed to be true. For example, a teacher can tell a child “you will never pass this test with your behavior” and although the child is very intelligent, they can actually begin to believe what the teacher has said and unintentionally underperform. We must be careful how we word things and how we express concerns. Some individuals with mental health conditions are truly trying, trying to the best of their ability. To say “you aren’t trying” can come across as judgmental, arrogant, and uncaring. It’s certainly okay, however, to share your concerns with the individual and ask them how much they feel they are actually trying.
  • You can’t be like this forever: Sadly, I have heard many parents say to their adolescent child that “you cannot remain this depressed forever because you have to get into college.” This placed an insurmountable amount of stress on the individual and even led to worsening depression. Some individuals will recover very quickly with the right amount of medication and therapy while others may suffer for years. Making this statement will likely lead the person to feel inadequate.
  • Get out more: Again, you don’t want to come across as judgmental or as uncaring. To tell someone suffering from a mental illness to “get out more” makes it sound as if you think the person is either strange or too isolated. You want to be careful how you share your concerns of the person’s isolation.
  • You are lazy: Some individuals with mental health challenges can come across as “lazy,” especially those who struggle with depression or severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia. But it is important to keep in mind just how ill the person is before you make such statements. Laziness is a “character flaw” not a symptom of an illness. A person who is appearing to lack motivation is probably going through a mental or emotion struggle of some kind. You don’t want to make them feel bad for struggling with an illness. The most important thing to keep in mind is that if the person could see themselves or help themselves, they probably would.
  • You are like your father/mother: We cannot help to take after certain family members. It’s inevitable. But saying “you are like your mother” or “you are just like your father” during moments of intense stress is probably not the best thing to do. You are likely saying this because you are frustrated or the other person has done something to make you angry. You must keep in mind that such a statement is also a judgment that can lead to escalated behaviours or worsening self-esteem.
  • You are just being a brat: Some children and teens who are struggling with behavioral problems or mental health challenges are often unable to control their own emotions and behaviors. It is not very helpful for the child or his or her self-esteem to make statements such as “you are being a brat right now” or “just grow up, you are so annoying.” These statements can, again, be judgmental and confrontational. However, we all know that children push limits and boundaries. We also know that parents get tired and frustrated. But does this make calling the child a name (i.e., “brat”) helpful? Does it contribute to escalating everyone’s emotions? Does it cause the child or teen to see themselves negatively? Does it make the child or teen feel unloved or misunderstood? If so, I encourage you to avoid using such terminology.
  • You are so sick: I have had the unfortunate experience of hearing some parents or guardians call their child “sick.” It’s a word that paints the individual as “strange,” “weird,” or “crazy.” It does not help the individual understand themselves and it does not truly convey the frustrated person’s emotions. It only serves the purpose of condemning and hurting the other person.

There are certainly better ways to communicate your feelings to someone who is struggling with an illness. I encourage you to be mindful of how you communicate with those you love and care about. Nothing is worse than having a family member, caregiver, or close friend speak to you in the worst way when you are down and unable to move forward. “Tough love” doesn’t mean verbal or emotional abuse. You want to encourage your loved one to get up and keep moving forward by using the right words.  Sadly I did say many of these things to my child in the heat of the moment last night.  I regret this and am reminded that I need to filter, walk away, count and temper my words and tone before speaking in order to get my point across in a productive manner.  The emotions, frustrations and confrontational speak hurts ME.

The term “active listening” is an important thing to keep in mind. Active listening refers to the ability to truly connect with the person speaking to you. You are not listening so that you can respond and you are not listening while doing other things. You are able to hear what the person is not actually verbalizing with words and can empathize with their feelings. You are listening for true emotions. You are not being judgmental, but open and understanding. You are giving the person your undivided attention and making the person feel heard. You want to practice conveying empathy, kindness, and compassion.

 

May we all find a little peace

 

 

Photo Challenge – Admiration

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This week’s photo challenge asks us to share who/what we admire.  If you are like me there may be several people that come to mind.  We are just a few days away from Mother’s Day and the person at the top of my list would be my mother.  My mom is the most generous, vibrant and selfless person I know.  I am so blessed to have mother who is so beautiful both inside and out.  My mother supported my dreams, offered advise, gave love without condition and has been the center of our family since I can remember.  She has supernatural energy even to this day.  Working, raising a family, taking care of her husband, children and grandchildren, volunteering, giving of herself to friends and family, never missing a birthday or anniversary, the list goes on!  I hope I can be even a fraction of the woman my mother is.  Thank you mom!   I love you.

Fight the Stigma

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9 Ways to Fight Mental Health Stigma

By Laura Greenstein | Oct. 26, 2015

Stigma is one of the most challenging aspects of living with a mental health condition. It causes people to feel ashamed for something that is out of their control and prevents many from seeking the help they need and speaking out. In order to address this problem, we asked our Facebook community, “What is the best way to end stigma?” Here are some of the responses we received:

  1. Talk openly about mental health. “Mental illness touches so many lives and yet it’s STILL a giant secret. Be brave and share your story.” –Lindsey Watkin Lason
  2. Educate yourself and others about mental health. “Challenge people respectfully when they are perpetrating stereotypes and misconceptions. Speak up and educate them.” –Yvonne Lucas
  3. Be conscious of your language. “Saying someone is “retarded” or using (or even mentioning) the “N” word is politically incorrect, but it’s still fine to throw around words like crazy, psycho, lunatic, etc.” –Michele Croston
  4. Encourage equality in how people perceive physical illness and mental illness. “We should explain mental illness as similar to any other illness. When someone acts differently or “strange” during diabetic shock we don’t blame them for moral failings.” –William Newbill
  5. Show empathy and compassion for those living with a mental health condition. “Love, we can all use more education, but that will not make people change their opinions. When you love and respect people, love and respect all of them. You have a desire to learn more about who they are and what their life is like.” –Megan Wright Bowman
  6. Stop the criminalization of those who live with mental illness. “Professionals and families together need to talk to neighborhood groups, law enforcement, hospitals and legal experts to share experiences and knowledge on interacting with mentally ill.” –Valerie E. Johnson
  7. Push back against the way people who live with mental illness are portrayed in the media: “Push back hard against the media and politicians and pundits that simply deflect real social issues such as gun control to the realm of “psychos” causing mass shootings.” –Michele Croston
  8. See the person, not the illness: “Talk about your family and friends with mental illnesses any time a conversation invites the opportunity; with an open heart, love, and real information about the real human being that they are; they are not their condition.” –Sheryl Schaffner
  9. Advocate for mental health reform. “It’s empowering people whenever and wherever you can. It’s also writing legislators. It’s also talking in front of a board of commissioners to advocate for continued mental health funding… It’s doing the right thing and treating others justly.” –Danielle Hoover

Stigma is not something that will go away on its own, but if we work together as a community, we can change the way we perceive mental illness in our society. Do your part by pledging to be stigmafree today.

– See more at: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/October-2015/9-Ways-to-Fight-Mental-Health-Stigma#sthash.Q3zBxp5e.dpuf

I wanted to share this page from the NAMI website.  As May approaches I hope many of you will join the cause and pledge to be “stigmafree” with me.  As I read these I made a mental check list for myself on what I am and am not doing on my own journey as a caregiver to my mentally ill child.  I do talk openly about mental health.  I also have found a variety of responses when I do.  First I notice that the person or persons I am sharing with had “no idea” that this touches me and my family.  They say things like, you are always so positive and happy.  I guess I am not supposed to be?  Honestly, there are days I am not and that is when I need my support group and God to get me through a tough time.  Then many will actually tell me that mental illness effects them in one way or another.  Some very close to home but have never said anything and others who know someone.  I find it interesting when I am open, honest and vulnerable the other person opens up to their own pain and desire to share but could never until that moment.
Education is also important.  I have been to family to family training and it helped me in so many ways.  The biggest being having the courage to get the help for my child that she needed even though it was heart wrenching for me.  You have to learn all you can.
Your words have power.  They can hurt or they can encourage.  Show empathy and compassion but also learn the language of detaching with love when necessary.  Get involved locally and in your state for mental health reform.  It is desperately needed.  We must all be a collective voice in this.
Blessings and Happy Friday!