A Dog’s Life

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I am the proud owner of two wonderful rescue dogs.  They are not going to win any beauty contests either!  Waylon is a pit mix and Willie we think may be part alien.  If you think you know what we are dealing with please let us know!  I am not about to spend the cash on a DNA test when I can use that money to for more worthwhile things like Starbucks Coffee and brow waxing.  So back to the Highway Men who live in my house.  They may be off- putting to look at for some, I can tell you that their hearts would win the Mr. Universe contest.  We rescued them a little over a year ago so we have had plenty of time to get to know them, study their personalities and hire the best dog trainer around to make them great pets.  Seriously, just a quick plug here for my friend Ed Diaz.  He is the DOG WHISPERER of Sullivan’s Island.  I think he and Cesar Millan would be great friends.

The first day Ed came over his first goal was to get Waylon to lie down and be submissive.  Well that wasn’t going to happen without a fight I can tell you that!  Waylon would not under any circumstances let out that sigh of a breath Ed was waiting to hear.  So what happened?  I am glad you asked!  Ed promptly laid down on top of Waylon until he relaxed.  NO kidding.  That was in the first three minutes of meeting all of us!  So now we have these two semi-trained dogs.  I guess if Ed were here very day their behavior would be stellar but alas, I am no dog whisperer and some days I just overlook the bad behavior because in the scheme of things is it REALLY that bad?

I think a dog living in a loving house has an amazing life.  It’s like living in America and having the opportunity to live the dream.  Here are just a few of the benes I can think of:

  • a home without a payment
  • a bed that they never have to change the sheets on (who doesn’t love good smells right)
  • toys and babies to destroy and more toys and ropes to pull on and more toys and bones
  • a built in playmate in the case of Willie and Waylon
  • food that obviously tastes great because it is always a clean plate club in this house – Oh, and no cooking!
  • treats
  • walks (exercise)
  • napping….whenever and where-ever!  I like that one personally
  • lots of love from the humans

So where do I sign up!  Really if you read an ad that offered these things who would turn it down.

My dogs teach me so much.  Their unconditional love, their gratitude, their carefree abandon and loyalty.  I want to be more like my dogs.

Today I will embrace a dog’s life and see what happens.

Fruit of the Spirit – Love

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fruit-of-the-spirit1LOVE is the first fruit of the Spirit.  I have been praying on these recently and over the next few weeks I hope to share what God has put on my heart as I dig into what it means to be filled with the fruit of the Spirit and how that manifests into day to day life.  Love – over-used, under practiced and many times completely misunderstood am I right?  We can love people, things, places, even ideas.  Love manifests in many forms; caring love, intimate love, service driven love, a word meaning you “really like” something.  The love Jesus talks about is the love that God exemplifies – Agape love.

Let me back up by explaining what “Fruit of the Spirit” is.  “Fruit” is the natural result of growth. And “of the Spirit” explains exactly Who causes that growth—it’s not our striving or straining, but the power of the Holy Spirit. No amount of human toil or gritty determination can produce spiritual fruit, but the Spirit’s influence in a yielded heart can work miracles. The fruit of “love” may be the best example. We cannot produce the type of love God desires without the leading and strength of the Holy Spirit.

“Love” in the English version is quite broad.  The “Love” taken from the Greek language however is very precise.  The love which the Holy Spirit manifests in believers is agape. This love is not a feeling, but a choice. It’s an action, a verb. It is the choice to be kind, to sacrifice, to consider another’s needs greater than one’s own (Philippians 2:3). Agape is used in all of the “hard” love verses in the New Testament.

Love is the greatest gift God can give.  In First Corinthians 13 I want to substitute “love” for “agape” so it reads: Agape is patient. Agape is kind. Agape never fails. God desires to show His perfect, selfless love to a world that is routinely confused about what true love is. God’s children are the conduits of His love, as they are empowered by the Holy Spirit.

My Journey to Love

For a long time, my heart was a mess. For many years I had been “acting” through my life and not being honest with anyone about my true feelings or struggles. I made poor choices that had long term effects and until I got right with God and honest about the choices I made I was not going to feel real love.  My emotional wounds had made me harsh, short-tempered and depressed. I operated purely out of fear I think. Fear and auto-pilot.  I called myself Christian.  I went to church, I served, I read the bible but even though I knew all there was to know about Christian living, I had not learned how to receive the love of God—the only thing that can heal someone’s sick soul. It wasn’t until I surrendered control and started receiving God’s love that I finally became free.  I was at a Joyce Meyer Conference that my life, my walk, and my heart began to change.

Please take time to study love.  It is so powerful and I promise it will change you life!

I. Love is Sacred (1Jn 4:7-8, 16)

II. Love is Selfless (Php 2:1-3, Eph 3:18-19)

III. Love is also Sacrificial (Eph 5:25, Ro 5:8, Jn 15:13)

IV. Love is Supportive (2Co 8:1-8, Jas 2:15-16)

V. Love is Soothing (1Co 4:21, 13:4)

VI. Love is Sincere (Ro 12:9, 1Pe 1:22)

VII. Love is Stubborn (1Co 13:7, Ps 118)

VIII. Love is Supreme (1Co 13:1-3, Mt 22:37-38)

LifeHopeTruth.com recommends the following:

Love self-examination questionnaire

  1. What is my definition of love? Does it coincide with what God has revealed?
  2. Do my actions show God’s love? Or do my actions show the world’s idea of love? Why?
  3. Does my love mainly benefit me? Or does my love largely benefit others?
  4. Do I love God more than any human being? What evidence in my life shows this?

How do we demonstrate more love?

It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to guess that love is the most important fruit of the Spirit, simply considering that God is love. So how do we show more of it?

  • Continually ask questions in our heads regarding our actions. (Was that action loving to God? To my neighbor?)
  • Write down selfish thoughts when we catch them and determine how to change the thinking from inward to outward. (For example: “I don’t have time for his problems—I just need some ‘me’ time” compared to “My friend needs someone to listen to his problems right now, so I’ll stick around a little while to help him out if I can.”)
  • Study and internalize God’s 10 Commandments (instructions about how to love God and our fellow man), and then strive to follow them every day of our lives.

Modern society promotes wrong types of “love” that have done everything short of completely destroying humanity. Christians are to be the beacon of a different love, a love that will ultimately save humanity.

The Silence is Deafening

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deafening silence

 

 

NOON:  Hello?   Are you there?   It’s me.
THREE:  Hello?  Why won’t you answer?   It’s me.
SIX:  Hello?   Are you alright?   It’s me.
NINE:  Hello? Please answer.   It’s me.
MIDNIGHT:  Hello?   Where are you?   It’s me.
Repeat
NOON:  Hello?  Can we talk?
THREE:  Hello?  Can I see you?
SIX:  Hello?  Do you need anything?
NINE:  Hello?  What’s wrong?
Who cares?   I do.
What does it matter?   You matter.
Where is my money?   I will buy you what you need.
When will you stop?   I will not stop.
Why can’t you leave me alone?  I love you.
How can you love me?  It’s called agape love, my child.

 

 

 

 

 

The silence is as distracting as a deafening noise.  That is how I describe the days when my child goes silent.  I wonder. I worry.  I pray.

Living life on their terms is tough.  There is a peace in the knowing and there is distress in the silence.  When you hear from them at least you know that you know that you know.  Know what I mean?  But with silence comes questions, confusion, assumptions, wonder, worry, distress, anxiety… IF YOU ALLOW IT.  So of course logic says, don’t allow your mind to go to those bad places.  Live YOUR life.  Don’t fixate on theirs.  Are they worrying about you?  NO!

The only thing I am asked to do now is to let her go.  Give her to God.  Stop trying to run a life that is not meant for me to run.  My life is MY life.  Her life is not my life.

So if you are reading this and you understand what I am saying, I will pray you have the strength to live your life and love the one you are caring for without micromanaging and have faith that God is in control.

Rx – Nature

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A friend of mine posted this great video this morning on his Facebook page.  I reposted too both here and on Practical Insanity/Facebook.

I hope you will consider liking my Facebook page.

 

Nature Video

I Will Overcome

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So yesterday I wrote a blog post about hurt. Today I wanted to finish up with the second half of the article I found on IQ Matrix that discusses ways to overcome. The word overcome is such a powerful word in my opinion. It means to succeed in dealing with a problem or difficulty but it can also mean overcome or overwhelm. These are truly active and strong suggestions. Succeeding in dealing with a problem! Wow. That means you won the battle. Maybe not the war just yet but you are a step closer. Feeling a sense of success is a very powerful and very motivating sensation. It elevates our spirits and allows us to believe that YES! We can do something. How empowering and how motivating. I love it. But overcome can also be deflating as well. Being overcome with emotion or overwhelmed can manifest in lack of action. We can freeze, hide, become defeated and afraid. In as much as that is also a reality of our lives, I am choosing the more positive look at overcome today!
So here are some tips on how we can try and move forward and overcome the hurt inflicted upon us by someone we love.
I hope you will take the time to work on these. I will hold you all in my thoughts and pray that you find the strength to battle on. Please do the same for me.

Suggestions for Overcoming Hurt

Feeling hurt is never an easy emotion to deal with. It’s painful and makes life seem absolutely miserable. However, there are certain things you can do that will help you to minimize your feelings of hurt, and hopefully lay down the groundwork to help you work through your emotions successfully.

Focus on Blessings

When you’re feeling hurt, it’s easy to blow things out of proportion and make certain of aspects of your life larger and more important then they should be. You get so caught up in your feelings of hurt that nothing else seems to matter. However, things do matter. And in fact, if you take time to think about it, there are probably a lot of things that matter, and a lot of things that you can be grateful for.

When feeling hurt, focus on your blessings, and on the things you are most grateful for. This will hopefully put your feelings into their proper context. It may even effectively help you re-prioritize and shift your focus onto more important and meaningful things that will bring you greater happiness and fulfillment in the long-run.

Focus on Your Strengths

In order to find direction during moments of hurt, it’s important that you remind yourself of your strengths and the things that have brought you to this point in your life. Your strengths might be your optimism, faith, patience, forgiveness, honesty, compassion, self-belief, etc. These are the things that will get you through this difficult time. In fact, these qualities can help you regain the confidence you need within yourself to move beyond this painful experience.

It’s therefore important to re-direct your energies away from what is hurting you, and instead focus-in on your strongest qualities that can help you get through this difficult situation successfully.

Let Go of Past Hurts

Are you holding onto things that hurt you years ago? Maybe you’re holding onto these hurts because you feel as though you were unjustly wronged in some way. However, what’s the point? Can you do anything about these hurts right here, right now? If you can’t, then what’s the point of holding onto them? Whatever happened in the past, happened in the past. Let go of these things and move on with your life. This of course doesn’t mean that you should forget everything. By all means don’t forget these important moments. Learn from them, and use them to make better decisions in the present, however don’t allow your past hurts to haunt and aggravate the life you’re living today.

Smile More Often

Being hurt is a state-of-mind. You are feeling hurt because you are perceiving events, circumstances and people’s intentions in a certain way that makes you feel absolutely miserable. Is it possible that another person might see things differently? What hurts you might not even phase them. It’s all a state-of-mind.

To transform your state-of-mind, try smiling a little more and see how that changes how you feel about the situation. Maybe your feelings of hurt will turn into curiosity. And when this happens, a whole new world of possibilities will open up for you.

Always Accept Responsibility

Your pain feels at its worst when you feel as though you had very little control over the situation. You feel as though someone else is to blame and you become the victim of circumstance. This makes you feel powerless and makes it very difficult to move past your feelings of hurt.

One way to instantly feel better about yourself is to accept responsibility for what happened and for how events transpired. In fact, you probably in some way — directly or indirectly — played a part in creating this situation. Recognize this. You are at least partly responsible for what happened, and this is a good thing, because with responsibility comes the willingness to make positive changes.

Once you feel at least partly responsible, this gives you the strength you need to potentially make things better — to right the wrongs. You now have the power to mend your relationships and lay down a path for a more positive future.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

One of the best ways to make yourself feel better almost instantly is to talk about your feelings with other people. Have a chat with a close family member or friend and explain what happened. Get their perspective and opinion about the situation, and maybe even work together with them to try and resolve your feelings. There is no telling how much better you will feel once you get things off your chest. And who knows, maybe the other person can convince you that there is nothing really here that justifies your feelings of hurt. And maybe that’s all you need to help you move forward through this moment of your life.

Don’t Take Things Personally

You will always end up feeling hurt if you continue to take things personally. Sometimes people say and do things because they are trying to work through their own personal insecurities and problems. In fact, what they say and do might have very little — if anything — to do with you, and all to do with them and their issues. For this reason it’s important that you step outside yourself during moments of hurt and look at the full picture from their perspective as well as from an outsider’s perspective. Maybe this will help you to understand that there is nothing here to feel hurt about. Instead, show a little compassion for the other person and try to help them work through their own personal insecurities.

People Make Mistakes

Sooner or later someone will hurt you. There’s no denying this. It will happen. However, more often then not, people won’t hurt you intentionally. People make mistakes. People make blunders and errors, and end up regretting some of the things they do and say. Of course, they might not own up immediately to these mistakes. To do so would wound their pride. What they need is compassion and understanding, and maybe a little patience on your part. Eventually they will come around and admit their mistakes, but it might take some time. Be there for them and accept them wholeheartedly, because you might very well be in their shoes at some point in the future.

Learn More About Yourself

Every hurt you experience, gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself. It gives you an opportunity to learn more about your values, rules and personal expectations. It gives you an opportunity to learn more about others and about how you relate to other people socially and intimately. It gives you insight into people’s motives, feelings and intentions. It even helps you get to know yourself and your emotional tendencies at a deeper level. And as you learn, you grow, and as you grow you will make better choices and decisions in the future that will help you to manage and minimize your feelings of hurt far more effectively.

Ouch, You’re Hurting Me!

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Hurt – to cause physical pain or injury.  That is the definition but what about hurt that causes emotional pain and injury to your spirit?  That is the hurt that I want to talk about.  This hurt is something that comes into my life more often than I care to admit.  Some days I can see it coming like a train roaring down the tracks with the horn blaring.  I like those days because I know to get out of the way and not feel the complete blow but maybe just the wind as it goes past.  Most days the hurt comes so unexpectedly and the aftermath lingers longer.  The recovery time is longer and I believe that hurt leaves an impression like ticks we scrape onto a wall.   The hard part about loving someone who causes that kind of hurt due to mental illness can create confusion.  Logically we want to remove ourselves from anyone who causes us this kind of pain but the lines blur with the disease component added.  At least it does for me.  Does it for you?  I would love to know how you handle the hurt. Most of the time I remove myself on a temporary basis and sadly the same form of hurt happens again and again and again.  The lesson never being learned and the sincerest of apologies being to ring hollow.

So, my friends, how can we overcome hurt?

Overcoming hurt isn’t easy. It takes patience and time to work through these emotional wounds. However, it is possible and can be done. Here is a four step process you can work through whenever you are feeling hurt:

Step One

The moment you are hurt, it’s important to immediately settle yourself down to prevent your emotions from overwhelming you. The best way to do this is to remove yourself from the situation and take some time to calm your emotions and settle your mind. This period of separation will prevent you from jumping to rash conclusions about the situation. Maybe things aren’t as they seem to be. At the very least, this separation will help you to avoid further conflict that could potentially aggravate your emotions and the situation even more.

Step Two

Now that you are alone, it’s important that you take time to reflect about the events that have transpired. Try to understand what exactly happened, what the person said or did, and also try and gain some insight into your own behavior, reactions and the emotions you are feeling in the moment. Ask yourself:
What happened?
How did I initially feel about this situation?
What was my initial response to this situation?
Why did I respond in this way?
How am I feeling at this very moment?
Why am I feeling this way?
These questions will help you pinpoint what exactly is happening on the surface. However, your hurt feelings might actually go a little deeper. Maybe your feelings of hurt have nothing to do with this moment but rather stem back to a culmination of events that have taken place over a period of time. Ask yourself:
What is really causing my feelings of hurt?
Do these feelings of hurt go beyond these events?
What could be the underlying cause of my feelings?
What important insights do I gain from this analysis?
If you realize that your feelings of hurt do not necessarily stem from this particular situation, then you have some work to do on a personal level to resolve past feelings that are actually causing you pain. For this very reason it’s important that you take under consideration your past hurts throughout this period of self-reflection.
Let’s now reflect upon and consider the other person’s perspective of the situation and why they did what they did. Ask yourself:
What was the other person trying to do?
Why did they do or say these things?
What are they trying to gain from this situation?
Did they just hurt me, or did they also hurt other people as well?
What could have triggered their words and/or behavior? Was it stress?

Now take some time to consider possible misunderstandings and maybe even the other person’s real intentions. Could it be possible that your assumptions about the other person’s intentions might be in error? Ask yourself:
Did they hurt me intentionally?
Am I potentially misreading this person’s intentions?
What could their real intentions be in this situation?
Do they have my best interests at heart?
What if there is a misunderstanding here?
What information will I need from the other person to clarify this situation?
It’s possible that the other person got caught up in the heat of the moment and said or did things they didn’t mean. Likewise, it’s also possible that they are in pain themselves. They are hurting, and unfortunately directing this energy onto you. This should therefore indicate that their words and actions have absolutely nothing to do with you, but rather all to do with their own personal insecurities. Ask yourself:
Could they be hurting in some way?
What could be the source of their pain?
How could I best get them to open up and talk about their feelings?
Finally, it’s important that you re-evaluate your expectations of the circumstances and the people involved. Ask yourself:
What did I expect should have happened in this situation?
What did I expect the other person should have done?

Are my expectations realistic? Are they helpful?
What if I had different expectations? How would that help?
You’re feeling hurt because in one way or another your expectations weren’t realized. There’s nothing wrong with that, however it certainly doesn’t help if you have a set of unrealistic expectations that will rarely if ever be satisfied. In such instances you need to work through your expectations and bring them back to reality, otherwise it’s likely you’re always going to end up hurt.

Step Three

Having spent some time reflecting upon the situation, it’s now your moment to approach the other person in order to resolve your feelings of hurt and maybe even clarify possible misunderstandings. Just maybe you’re seeing things all wrong and completely misinterpreting events and circumstances. Just be open to the possibilities, and willing to fully understand the other person’s point of view and true intentions.
When approaching the other person about this situation, it’s important to always think before you speak. Don’t say things that you will regret later on. Have a good idea of what you will say in advance, and talk about these things openly and graciously by acknowledging your feelings, acknowledging the other person’s feelings, while discussing the events that transpired. It’s of course paramount that you do not become argumentative or aggressive. It’s important that you do not blame, judge or accuse the other person of doing or not doing something. Instead, be assertive, yet humble and focused on gaining clarification about the circumstances. The more information you have, the better insights you will gather.
Finally, don’t force the other person to make an apology. This will rarely work, and if it does, it won’t be genuine and is likely to create more friction between the two of you. Instead, talk things through and help the other person see things through your eyes. If throughout this process the other person apologizes, then accept their apology. You don’t have to forgive them, but accept that they are at the very least trying to right their wrongs.

Step Four

You should now have all the information you need to make a decision to either move past these circumstances and forgive the other person, or to let go of your relationship, or simply distance yourself from the other person. The decision you make will depend entirely on how much insight you gained from Step Three of this process. However, no matter what you choose to do, it’s important that you accept what has happened and allow your feelings of hurt fade away.
Taken from IQMartix.com

 

Satisfaction NOT Guaranteed

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Self-destruction manifests itself in all of us; however, only the strong know how to battle it. You have to be a secure and mentally strong person to learn that you are worth fighting for.  If you see this behavior manifesting in the one’s you love remember you can’t change them no matter how hard you try.  It is insane to think we have that power.  Let it go!  We can pray for them, gently guide and point out self-destructive behavior but we can not change it.

I see in my own life and in my relationship with my daughter that I want her to be the young woman I know she can be.  It hurts me when she chooses the wrong path and I know too that it hurts me more than it hurts her!  Wayne Dyer’s words hit home with me.  I need to let her choose for herself what she wants for herself and her life without worrying about how it will make me feel or if it will “satisfy” my ideas for her life.

I found a list on Elite Daily that shared some self-destructive behaviors that perhaps we all have battled at one time or another.  I believe our loved ones suffering from mental illness don’t learn the first time as we might.

 

 

 

Here are 13 things self-destructive people need to stop doing:

Are Friends With People Who Harm You More Than Help You

Your friends contribute to a large part of your happiness. They are one of the few things in your life that you can choose. When you hate everyone at work, in your family and just in general, your friends are the people can confide in.

They are the ones who are supposed to make you a better person. Self-destructive people have a tendency to hang out with people who are jealous, manipulative and self-serving. Their friendships are competitions, their secrets are fair game, and their flaws are problems.

Choose To Do Things The Hard Way

By now, we all know shortcuts and easier ways through certain situations. We know the consequences that come with most actions and the pain that can be involved. We base our decisions on facts, experience and knowledge. Self-destructive people know the easy way, but always choose to do things the hard, or wrong way. Whether it’s subconsciously or consciously, they have a knack for going about everything with some purpose of pain.

Opt Out Of Taking Chances For Of Fear Of Failure

Self-destructive people thrive on failure. They use it as their excuse for lost opportunities and failed attempts. They never grow as people because they have never overcome this fear. What self-destructive people don’t realize is that failure is not criticized; people only judge you on how well you rise after you fall. Failure is a weak excuse and one of the common reasons as to why self-destructive people never go anywhere in life, staying stuck in constant state of perpetual defeat.

Refuse To Let Anyone Help

There is nothing wrong with needing help in life. There is a common belief that asking the right questions is more valuable than knowing all the answers. Knowing when and how to ask for help is essential for a happy and healthy life. We all need to swallow our pride once and a while and learn to trust in others.

Self-destructive people don’t understand how to ask for help. They let their pride and their ignorance deter them from getting the help they need. They don’t see opportunity in others and find honor in suffering alone.

Use Drugs And Alcohol As A Way To Cope Rather Than Relax

There is no shame in letting loose through drugs and alcohol on occasion. There is nothing wrong with relaxing with a glass of wine. However, using drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms is not the same. Those who use alcohol to get through the day, as their courage for work and play, are inflicting self-harm. They think that drugs and alcohol are a distraction from their problems when, in reality, they are only creating more problems and more dependencies.

Date People You Know Will Hurt You; You Hurt The People Who Love You

Self-destructive people have a pattern of bad relationships. They choose the girl they know is selfish and the guy who doesn’t want a relationship. They get cheated on and stay, yet refuse to talk to their parents after a fight. They don’t acknowledge real love, only obsess about the people who are hurting them.

They do not value or even see when people actually care about them, usually choosing to lash out against them. Their bad relationships are just another distraction they use to keep from bettering themselves.

Spend Money On Frivolous Things And Not On Things You Need

It’s easy to buy sh*tty food every day rather than make a salad. It’s easy for self-destructive people to spend 20 dollars on a cab when they know they won’t have enough for dinner the next night. They do not think of their needs, only their momentary wants and desires. They have no real self-restraint and continually harm themselves by thinking only of present feelings and thoughts. They live on phrases of “YOLO” and store-bought candy. They take pills but never for medicine.

Live In Your Mind More Than Out Of It

They keep bad memories stored up for good days. Self-destructive people bask in their bad thoughts, letting it overcome the present and cloud the good. They inhabit their minds rather than living in reality and enjoying the moment. They are constantly remembering the bad and never the good, letting their regrets and mistakes ruin every opportunity and good moment. They don’t know how to let go of things and leave the past behind them.

Repeat The Mistakes You Should Have Learned From

Mistakes are okay; mistakes are forgivable… as long as you don’t make them again. Everyone messes up; everyone fails. However, we judge people on how well they redeem themselves. Not learning from your failures and mistakes is consciously making life harder for yourself. Refusing to look at your defeats and disappointments is not healthy and will never amount to anything greater than a succession of regrets.

You Only Think About The Immediate Future Rather Than Long-Term Consequences

Self-destructive people make decisions for the now, never for the next step. They do not think about consequences or long-term effects. They follow their fleeting whims and impulsive nature, letting their wants take precedence over their needs. They drink because they want to get drunk, but don’t think about work the next morning.

They buy that purse because they want it, but don’t think about their credit card debt. They never think about how their actions today will be construed later and like to think they are just being spontaneous.

Second-Guess Yourself To The Point Of Making No Decisions At All

It’s easy to second-guess ourselves. We do it all the time. Did we actually turn the coffee maker off? Did we lock the door? Should we have emailed our boss? However, you should have learned by now that second-guessing is as tiring as it is wasteful.

It’s something that can’t be helped but should be recognized and stopped as soon as it starts. Self-destructive people are constantly second-guessing themselves, usually wasting most of their time regretting and lamenting over things that aren’t worth the time. They waste their lives worrying and retracting rather than moving forward and making changes.

Lie And Never For The Right Reasons

Our parents always told us it’s okay to lie, as long as it’s for the absolute right reasons and not hurting anyone. Telling a lie because you don’t want to hurt someone or to help someone is not always wrong. However, lying because you can is different. Lying because it’s easy is not right. Lying is also a destructive path that only leads to regret, embarrassment and a loss of trust.

Only people hellbent on hurting themselves are out there throwing lies around. Only those who want to get caught are webbing stories and falling into traps of their own making.

Pay More Attention To Your Flaws Than Your Assets

It’s easy to remember the bad and even easier to forget the good. Self-destructive people have a tendency to ignore the good and only concentrate on the bad. They remember every negative comment and bask in the loathing that comes with hating yourself. They can’t get past a negative review, yet don’t even notice the good ones.

It’s easy to fall in down the hole of self-loathing, but only the strong know how to move past the negative and concentrate on the beautiful parts of themselves.

What is my life’s purpose?

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865I was cleaning my bookshelves today and The Alchemist fell to my feet.  I stared at it for a moment before picking it up.  A lot went through my head in those few short seconds from the fall to retrieving the book off the floor.  My mind has been cloudy lately as I struggle with the “what next” in my life.  Asking God to reveal His desire for me and of course my never ending struggle to be still, patient and obedient.  Those are all very hard things for me to do which is I am sure part of my work right now.  So of course those thoughts shot through my head. The irony of that book appearing in my face too was a sign.  There are certain books that seem to cross your path at the perfect moment, giving you seemingly-divine answers to the questions you’ve been painstakingly struggling over.  Paulo Coelho’s book is one of those books for me.  I have picked it up many times in my life.  It has given me answers, picked me up out of dark places and offered me a fresh perspective each time I read it over.  The Bible does that too by the way!  I can reread the same bible story or passage or book and have God reveal something completely new to me each time.

 

 

So today, I am going to share with you some of the quotes from The Alchemist that have jumped out for me.  Perhaps they will resonate with you too.

The secret to life.

“The secret to life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

The world’s greatest lie.

“At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

The power of belief.

“When you want to something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Live in the present.

“When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.”

“The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better.”

The language of the world that everyone understands.

“The language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as part of a search for something believed in and desired.”

Why you shouldn’t fear the unknown.

“People not need fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.”

“We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.”

The nature of the world.

“Everything on earth is being continuously transformed, because the earth is alive …. and it has a soul. We are part of that soul, so we rarely recognize that it is working for us.”

“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”

Why we can’t see the future.

“The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances.”

Find your life’s purpose.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

The only way to learn.

“There is only one way to learn. It’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.”

Love, explained.

“Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World.”

What makes life interesting.

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

The thing that kills your dreams.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

In simplicity there’s beauty.

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

Why we shouldn’t judge others.

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

3 things we can all learn from children.

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”

The importance of putting yourself out there.

“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.”

Everything happens for a reason.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.”

“There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.”

I would love comments! What is one of your favorite quotes that has helped you live a more meaningful, happier and healthier life?  Do you have one? Please share!

Rainy Day Mood and Meditation

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It is another rainy October day here in Charleston.  I am watching the tide rise over the bank of the marsh onto the grass in our backyard.  With the moon, the tides recently have been unusually high and the excessive rains we have been experiencing this October have created so many problems here not only for homeowners but for traffic and road issues too.  Our moods on these rainy days can be a bit somber too.  There are conflicting studies on the effect of weather and our mood.  Most believe they are linked and the research suggesting otherwise is outdated. People can suffer from such disorders as Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the clinical name for winter depression or the winter blues, occurs due to the temperature drop and the short days during the winter months. Symptoms include depression and excessive eating and sleeping. Some people with SAD gain weight due to over-eating and inactivity. Women suffer from SAD up to three times more than men.

If you are among them there are things you can do to help like using a sun lamp and seeking therapy.  Those of us who do not experience these blues should be mindful that others may not do so well on days like today or during the winter months when there is less light.

The video I have attached I find personally very peaceful and calming.  I use it sometimes as background noise or when I am sitting in quiet meditation. With the hectic pace and demands of modern life, many people feel stressed and over-worked. It often feels like there is just not enough time in the day to get everything done. Our stress and tiredness make us unhappy, impatient and frustrated. It can even affect our health. We are often so busy we feel there is no time to stop and meditate! But meditation actually gives you more time by making your mind calmer and more focused. A simple ten or fifteen minute breathing meditation can help you to overcome your stress and find some inner peace and balance.
Meditation can also help us to understand our own mind. We can learn how to transform our mind from negative to positive, from disturbed to peaceful, from unhappy to happy. Overcoming negative minds and cultivating constructive thoughts is the purpose of the transforming meditations found in the Buddhist tradition. This is a profound spiritual practice you can enjoy throughout the day, not just while seated in meditation.

How to meditate: Simple meditation for beginners

This meditation exercise is an excellent introduction.

1. Sit or lie comfortably.

2. Close your eyes.

3. Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.

4. Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation. Notice the movement of your body as you breathe. Observe your chest, shoulders, rib cage and belly. Make no effort to control your breath; simply focus your attention. If your mind wanders, simply return your focus back to your breath. Maintain this meditation practice for 2–3 minutes to start, and then try it for longer periods.

Peace, Namaste.

 

Embrace the Shit

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embrace-yourwords

My husband had me laughing so hard on your walk with our dogs Saturday morning.  We got tangled up with the dogs and their leashes which is not unusual but he had a bag of dog poop that he casually hugged me with as we were untangling.  The smell made my eyes tear but the jokes we made as we continued on just had me laughing harder.  First I said, “well I can see how you finally feel about me” with a little smirk on my face.  He, not sure what I meant by that, looked at me inquisitively.  Not being aware of what he had done, I teased him saying, “hugging me with a bag of poop.”  He immediately apologized which was unnecessary but at that point we started with the “I guess you want me to hug the shit” and “Life is full of shit” and so on.  Then he said “Embrace the Shit” and I knew right then, that yes, we all must embrace the shit!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So here are some things to embrace.  You can certainly add your own too!

1. Criticism: So many people just tell you what you want to hear, which, newsflash: simply isn’t helpful! I completely admire when someone can candidly point out places where growth is possible. The ability to kindly give criticism or advice is important for growth. It pushes us, inspires us to be better, helps us see a new perspective, and grounds us. Asking for an opinion brings clarity and you avoid the guessing game.  Now let’s be clear here.  If you value the criticism it is because it is coming from someone we respect, admire or who is doing the thing we want to do.

2. Working: Are you familiar with that feeling of being unemployed for an extended period of time?  Two months, four months, maybe six months?  Now does that feeling include having the time of your life? It’s one big, never-ending weekend, right? NOT!  I would guess that you are stressing about money, worried about the future, and watching much more Netflix, ESPN or On Demand TV than is healthy. Work is good. Routine is healthy. Even too much free time can become monotonous.

3. Ending Relationships: Breakups are tough. You will miss that person. It can be a friendship or a romance.  Either way, there will probably be tears. But take it from personal experience, numerous times and ending more ways than I care to mention here, you will  move on, you will realize that you can be a much more complete person when there isn’t someone around who was dragging you down, when there isn’t someone by your side who was no longer bringing out the best in you. You will have more time for the things and people you love, and yourself.

4. Anxiety: Anxiety is the stuff of life. I believe fear can also be another word for anxiety.  If you choose to embrace it you will conquer it.  That effort produces energy, motivation, and enthusiasm.

5. When people don’t like you: If you spend your whole life people-pleasing, then everyone might think your great. Be proud of being yourself.  Be proud of the person you have worked so hard to be.  Don’t spend time and energy acting and being someone you are not just to please someone else.  As my husband likes to say, “Don’t measure yourself by someone elses yardstick.”  If someone does not like you let them go and move on.

6. Going to the doctor: Everyone complains when they have to go to the doctor.  Personally, I would not be alive if it weren’t for doctors!  I love them even when I hate going to see them.

7. Tough times:  Tough times don’t feel great in the moment, let yourself feel that, be a mess. It is okay. However, also remember that those feelings won’t last forever. When emotions change and you are able to move on, there will be growth, new understandings, the capability to be more empathetic towards others, and possibly even appreciation for all the feelings that just had to be felt.

8. Some YOLO: Might be one of the most obnoxious things to hear being yelled out loud,written on a tee-shirt, pocketbook or wallet , or how about hashtagged on Instagram. Yet, when it comes to life a little bit of YOLO is a good and powerful thing. Live with passion, with reckless abandon, live like this opportunity might not ever come your way again.

Remember to always Stay Positive – Accept Help – Be Flexible – Find the Humor in it!